Sunday Gratitudes

1. My firstborn son telling me that he knows the password # to the adult control lock on our TV. He wanted to be sure that I knew it needed to be changed so he would never be tempted to watch something he shouldn't. All of those Family Night lessons on honesty and integrity have paid off.

2. DD swallowed a Boondocks game token last night. This morning while I took the boys to church my Darling Husband took her to the ER. They took numerous x-rays, fed her vanilla pudding and graham crackers, and sent her home saying they think she will be fine. If the token does not pass through in two days then she is to go back. I'm grateful we have a competent hospital close by. The drs fell in love with DD.

3. One of my best girlfriend's father passed away over the weekend. I am grateful that we know where we were, why we are here, and what happens next. I have to smile thinking of the great reunion he had with his two children who died as small children. He was a great man.

4. Firstborn son made the high school swim team! He hasn't swum (swim, swam, swum?) with a club for two years so the next month will be very hard. He will be fine.

5. DS #2 and #3 are excited for school to start next week. I'm happy that their love for learning has not diminished. DS#1 is a bit apprehensive but I do think he is excited for Honors Science and Honors English.

6. Date night is back in swing! DH took me out last night for Thai food and Bourne Ultimatum. Here is thanks to what we love to refer to as homemade marriage therapy.

7. Quirky family celebrations. This week I have to made Firstborn's favorite meal (buffalo wings) because..........he is OFFICIALLY taller than me. DS#1 has been measuring himself against me all summer in anticipation of this all-important event. After watching his example, DS#2, DS#3 and even DD have starting requesting to compare their height with mine, hoping that they, too, will get their favorite meals and a mini family celebration.

8. Restful Sundays. Oh, yessssss.

9. DH bought a new computer this week. I now will be able to check email every day, blog more often, and see my parents on the Skype phone. Woo-hoo!

10. Today was my first Sunday directing practice with our new ward choir. They are amazing singers and pick up music quickly. I am going to have fun times with this ward calling.

A Thanks To A Mentor

I received my first calling in my new ward. I am now the Ward Choir Director/Ward Chorister. I love this calling. It is my third time in this calling. My love for this calling requires thanks to someone.

Sister Hadfield was the Ward Chorister when I was a child. She always had a big smile every time she stood up to lead the singing in sacrament meeting. Her gorgeous voice carried clear to the back of the chapel. She was one of the few choristers I have ever watched who had the ability to get the congregation to look at her when she led. It was impossible not to watch.

My family sat in the second row of the center section of the chapel - all the better for my daddy to watch us from where he sat on the stand. From this vantage point, I always had an unobstructed view of Sister Hadfield. I would try to copy her every gesture. Trying to be quiet and unobtrusive, I would mimic with my hands hidden behind the bench in front of us. When Sister Hadfield flicked her wrist then I would flick mine. I practiced the way she would hold out the formatas. I copied her cut-off at the end of the hymns.

During the week I would stand in front of the bathroom mirror and practice the entire lesson: Big Smile to start, constant eye contact, keeping the beat with all of the nuances. I locked the bathroom door for privacy. I'm sure my family knew exactly what I was doing, though. My singing loudly must have been a dead give away.

Now whenever I stand up to lead the hymns I always think of Sister Hadfield. But, last week during my first time leading music in this new ward, I came across a predicament that I do not think Sister Hadfield ever had to contend with. My Darling Daughter (who happened to turn 5 that day) was wondering where her mom went and stood up on the seat to look for me. There she was front and center, 2nd row back, as I stood up. As I raised up my arms to start the sacramental hymn (always a very sacred song) my daughter spied me. Darling Daughter began to wave wildly and yelled "HI MOM!" Everyone started to laugh (including me) and the entire congregation missed the first few words of the hymn.

I wonder what Sister Hadfield would have done? Come to think of it, I am sure she also has stories to tell.

"....I am not going to worry about it."

We moved into our beautiful new home, spent two weeks unpacking and organizing the essentials, and then took off for Disney World! Yeah, baby! Actually, Disney World is not exactly as I remember it. I'm used to going there as a kid, not as an adult with 4 kids. I was hot, frantically trying to keep track of kids, going on all the rides they liked (if I had my way we would have spent the entire week eating our way through the countries at Epcot), going back to the condo, fixing dinner and cleaning up afterwards, going back to the park for rides, night parades, and fireworks, and then back to the condo where DH and I would drop with exhaustion until morning. We did this 6 days (on the 7th day, which happened in the middle of the 6 days, we went to a local church that didn't start at 9 a.m. and were still 20 minutes late. We surely needed that day of rest.)

Now we're spending our final days of vacay in southern Georgia at my grandma's house. This is a very quiet place with trees to explore, frogs to hunt for, fire ants to avoid, and - the best part - visit with my grandma. Grandma's house has Spirit. She invites Heavenly Father to her house every day in her prayers and we can feel it. It is so peaceful.

DH found a way to give service: while we are here he is installing a timer on her sprinkling system so she won't have to turn the water on manually anymore. We need the blessings from giving service so he was very happy to do this.

Along with the peace and tranquility comes the wisdom. Grandma dispenses wisdom along with the good food at the table. Last night, along with sweet-and-sour steak over rice we talked about the importance of doing what you know is right. Now, it is one thing coming from me. Having my grandma reinforce that to my kids is added arsenal. They listen to her. They are kinder to each other in her house. And while we were eating lemon pie she listened to them. They know they are important to her.

Tonight's dinner is almost done: roast pork with raisin sauce, glazed carrots, hot rolls with kiwi or spiced blueberry jam, potatoes in cheese sauce. She does all the cooking but she does let me help set the table and do dishes after. I'm looking forward to what wisdom she shares with us tonight. My kids will be listening. That is the best reason for this vacation.

The best wisdom she has ever shared with us is "If it's not important for my salvation, I am not going to worry about it." I have quoted that to myself many times, and also shared it in lessons at church. I know that my sister, sisters-in-love, and extended family quote my grandma (trying to add the southern accent in because it just sounds better that way). That has become my mantra for many years now. The more I repeat it the less stressed I am.

Wisdom, indeed.

DH and I spent the past weekend in Virginia, touring Washington DC and supporting one of DH's younger brothers as he graduated from med school at UVA. It was a fabulous weekend. We needed every relaxing minute as the crunch times now starts the countdown to Moving Day.

DH is in the top pix on the left side of our new doctor. The family on the left is Darling Sister-In-Loves family. The pix on the right is my In-Loves with our new doctor. The graduation was a lot of fun. We cheered loud when DBIL came down the aisle.

Our New Home

We are now the proud owners of a new home. Darling Husband called me to tell me that he signed his name (a million times), signed my name (a million times) and then had to sign his name again every time he signed mine and state the fact that he had power of attorney. He also initialled (here and there and everywhere), initialled my initials (here there and everywhere), and then initialled his initials by my initials (here there and everywhere) to show that he had power of attorney. The poor man now has a very sore arm, wrist and hand.

Darling Husband kept calling it "My House" as in mine, not his. I told him it was our house. He replied that it was our house and he liked our house but he bought it for me because I loved the house and I am the one who is in it all day. Isn't he absolutely sweet?

Please pray for us to sell this house we are currently living in. No one has come to tour it yet. I am trying to have faith.

Gratitudes

First of all, I have to say I am grateful for my Mom. It was through watching her with my siblings that I learned mothering skills. Sitting by her in church, I learned how to sing parts by listening to her clear alto voice. I remember her sitting on the floor between the doorjambs to my and my sister's room and my brothers room when I was a child, reading "Summer of the Monkeys" and using all of the voices (I love reading to my kids and, yes, I use all the voices). She was the mom who made the best Ascot hats for my sister and me to wear when we were in "My Fair Lady" in high school. She encouraged us to bring our friends over to hang out at our house and made sure the freezer was always full of ice cream. She always encouraged me. Thanks, Mom.

Every Mother's Day my Darling Husband makes me a gorgeous breakfast. This year he baked eggs wrapped in thick-cut pepper bacon and topped with melted brie, served on garlic bagel toasts. There was broiled pineapple, fruit shortcakes made with strawberries, mango, and bosc pear. There were fresh kiwis and blackberries. There were dark chocolate kisses and melted chocolate. He shopped late when I was asleep and then got up early to cook and serve it all before 7:30 because we had church at 9:00. On top of all this, he is as sick as I am. Now do you understand why I call him Mr. Wonderful?

Today was our last day teaching the 10-11 yr old boys in Primary, including our own son. I loved having this calling with DH. He had never had a Primary calling before. He got along very well with the boys and we had some great teaching moments. The boys were eager to learn and brought up some great discussions during our 4 1/2 months with them. I'll miss each one of them with all of their humor, quirks, and expressions. I especially loved teaching my own son. I hope he didn't suffer too much. ;)

Tonight we watched the finale of Survivor with the older boys. During the last part of the game, one of the contestants proved that he truly had no integrity. I am grateful my boys caught onto that. The show promoted some of the best discussion we have ever had with our older children about integrity and how we treat those around us. I loved having this heart-to-heart conversation with both DH and myself counseling and listening to our children.

Yesterday,I got to talk to my Mom on the phone (I wish I could have talked to Daddy, too). I can't wait to move so we can set up a video phone. DD asks for her Gamapapa every day and will love seeing them. So this gratitude is for modern technology. I can't wait to get that video phone set up so I can see Mom and Daddy.

I am also grateful for modern medicine. This cold would be unbearable if it weren't for decongestants, cough suppressant, and ibuprofen. If it weren't for them DH and I would not be able to get things done during the day or sleep at night.

I'm grateful for prayer. That connection to my Heavenly Father is something that I cherish. I can report on my day, ask for strength for what is to come. I can share all of my thoughts, including what I can't verbalize because I don't quite understand it myself. His love is unconditional and all-encompassing.

Boat + Water + Sunshine = :)

Today I woke up sick, with a list of chores to get done and not quite the right attitude to do it. Darling Husband informed me at lunchtime that we had been invited to go boating with Darling Brother In Love's family.

I am not the boating kind of gal. I told DH that I really needed to get the house straightened up and had a whole list to do. I told him that I was not feeling well (my voice is nearly gone) and told him to take the boys and have fun. Half an hour later, DH came up to me, put his arms around me and told me that I really needed the break and "it'll be fun". I grudgingly shaved my legs, put on the swimsuit, and we headed out to the lake.

DBIL has a big boat. DBIL has a sweeeeet boat (as DS#3 says). DBIL's boat seats 18 people (I saw the occupancy limit sign stating that fact). We got in and headed out, all the kids under 12 yrs old in a life jacket. The day was in the 80's, the sun was shining, and miracles of miracles, I was starting to relax.

DS#2 got on the 3-person tube with his cousins and they started the boat. (In case you were wondering, DS#1 was at a sleepover and not back when it was time to go.) Back and forth, over the wake, some of their jumps were 3-4 feet off the water. DS#2 did not look like he was having fun. He had a look of "I had better not fall off". His two cousins went flying after a particularly big jump. When we called out to him to see if he wanted to come in he yelled "NO!" I guess he was having fun. He went out twice more, was injured once (head bump which didn't stop him), and would not have minded if we had stayed all night.

DS#3 and DD took a turn on the tube with DH. (I wanted to veto this but DH reminded me that I need to let DD live a normal life and not coddle her.) I sat in the boat with my hands near my face and my heart thumping. I knew they would drive slow, and I knew DH was perfectly capable of taking care of the little kids, and I knew that they all had life jackets on but I still worried because I am the mom. They had a great time. When it was over DD shouted "AGAIN!" They took another turn after the bigger cousins.

DH tried wake boarding and did fairly well until during one fall he suffered a nasty rope burn that transverses his entire left side right underneath the ribs. It looks painful but he has not complained. I could tell he was enjoying himself.

The best part came when we put the orange flag up and all the kids jumped in the water with their life jackets on. DD spent time with her 16 yr old cousin and friend. It took a bit of coaxing to get her back in the boat when it was time to move on. When she finally was back in, DD turned to me and said "Mom, I was mermaid!" DD had never used "was" in a sentence before. At first I was so excited at this new development until it hit me that something greater had happened. DD had connected "mermaid" with her swimming in the water and had fun pretending. The word had not been brought up before, not even when swimming during our last trip to Boise. Pretending is somewhat abstract as usually brought about with suggestions from me. This mermaid experience was all on her own.

It was a nice ride back to the marina. DD kept requesting "Little Mermaid" songs to play over the boat's sound system. The marina was crowded but the boat was loaded back on the trailer without incident. We thanked DBIL and his family and headed home. Dinner was brats on sourdough rolls, oven fries and a broccoli salad with dried cranberries and pine nuts. We're all exhausted and relaxing until bed time.

I thanked DH for convincing me to go. Even if I didn't get into the (cold!) water because of this nasty illness, the sunshine and the family time did wonders for my attitude.

The Sensitive Side of Dear Son #3

Last night my kids gathered around to call Darling Husband, who is out of town for a few days. He answered the phone....well he tried to answer the phone. DH sounded very sick and he was losing his voice.

I felt so bad for him. Being sick in a place where there is no one to take care of you is miserable. DS#1 and DS#2 both hoped that he would get well and and were considerate while they had their turn talking to their dad.

Then it was DS#3's turn to talk on the phone. He had heard me tell the older boys that their dad was sick and also listened carefully to the one-sided conversations as the boys told DH about their days. When DS#3 got on the phone, he already had a concerned look on his face. The concern grew deeper as he listened to DH try to ask him about his day. I could hear DH coughing as I held DS#3 next to me on the couch. Before DS#3 said good-bye, he had large tears in his eyes and coursing down his cheeks.

After we hung up, I put my arms around my youngest son and told him that we would get Dad home this weekend and DS#3 could help me nurse him back to health. My son was so worried. "How can Dad talk if he loses his voice? What if it never comes back? Will he be able to drive home when he is sick?" Who will take care of him at the hotel?"

The tears kept coming. DS#3 is by far the most sensitive of all my boys. He has empathy for everyone around him. He finds the loneliest kid at recess and brings them into his group. He loves taking meals to families in our neighborhood who need them. He includes so many people in his prayers who he thinks need extra blessings (He also tells Heavenly Father in every prayer how grateful he is for this "awesome world" that was created for us).

I finally dried the tears and took DS upstairs to tuck him in bed. His prayers that night were shorter than normal. Instead of blessing everybody by name, he asked for extra blessings for his daddy's well-being and blessings so our house will sell quickly before we move. He was so concerned for these blessings that I had to remind him to say what he was thankful for. He closed his eyes again and expressed his gratitude for a daddy who works hard for us even when he isn't feeling good, and then closed his prayer.

There are times when this child awes me. His single mindedness in his love for a family member, his ability to forgive so quickly, his awareness of what happens within and outside of our family dynamics. I'm grateful for the glimpses I get of his incredible spirit. I'm humbled to be his mom

Does The I.Q. Test Really Matter?

Two weeks ago, I took my 4 yr old Darling Daughter to her school so the school psychologist could administer an I.Q. test. We sat down and talked about DD's attention span and how to keep her motivated while DD wandered the school room, looking at toys.

Finally we sat DD down at a desk and started the test. DD does not do well with line drawings, she works much better with actual photographs. She did do well with showing comparisons but did poorly on "which object doesn't belong?"

The blocks were divided diagonally down the middle into red and white - they reminded me of semaphores. DD was asked to stack them in a certain way with the colors all pointing the right direction. She would stack the blocks correctly but paid no attention to the direction of the colors on them.

The last part of the test was to give her a pencil (which she tried to hold correctly). She was shown different shapes with lines drawn inside: horizontal, vertical, one line, two lines, three lines. The different shapes were 7-8 in a row. She was asked to draw the correct lines in her own row of shapes provided. I doubted that my 6 yr old Dear Son #3 could have done this exercise before he entered kindergarten. DD drew all over the entire paper and presented the psychologist her own version of a penciled Rorschach test.

Last week I met with DD's preschool teacher, speech therapist, occupational therapist, adaptive P.E. therapist, the school principal, and the school psychologist for DD's I.E.P. I have heard that parents dread this. I feel like the teachers and therapists are all on my side. We laughed as we talked about DD's antics. She loves to sit in the teacher's or therapist's chair and "teach" the class or the next child in line for therapy. We talked about how social she is. DD is loved by her teachers and therapists.

The reviews themselves are not glowing but full of hope. DD is still trying to master some goals and has done well in others. The group gave me ideas of things to do at home to help DD improve.

Then came time for the school psychologist. I had never worked with her before the previous week. She seemed young, fresh out of graduate school. She started out with "Well, DD score very low in her I.Q. test but we expected that since she has Down syndrome." I was prepared to smile and nod - I know that DD is actually smart as she constantly surprises us with what she does know. I did not put much credit into an I.Q. test administered by someone DD had never met before. What I was not prepared for was the uproar that followed. Her teacher and the therapists started to tell everyone who would listen that DD was much smarter than that. DD was highly social and motivated. DD caught on once she understood the directions and worked well as long as someone helped to keep her on task.

I must say that it felt good to have these professionals on my side. Really good.

This is what's for dinner at our house tonight. It's been a family favorite for 7 years. Fast dinner and great for entertaining. Your kids will eat broccoli with this dish!

North End Penne with Chicken and Broccoli
serves 4

1 pound penne
4 Cups broccoli florets
3 Tlbs all purpose flour
1/2 tsp salt, plus more to taste
1/2 tsp pepper, plus more to taste
1 pound boneless, skinless chicken breasts
3 Tlbs olive oil
1 Tlbs butter
3 garlic cloves, minced
1 tsp dried oregano
1/3 Cup fresh grated Parmesan Cheese

Cook the pasta in a large pot of boiling salted water, adding the broccoli to the pot the last three minutes of pasta cooking time. Reserve 3/4 Cup of the cooking water and drain the pasta and broccoli.

Meanwhile, combine the flour, salt and pepper in a shallow dish. Dredge the chicken breast in the seasoned flour. Cook chicken in 2 Tlbs oil in large skillet over medium heat until golden brown on both sides and no longer pink in the center, about 8 minutes total. Remove chicken from skillet, leaving the drippings in the pan. Let chicken rest 2 minutes and then cut crosswise into 1/2" wide slices.

Add remaining 1 Tlbs oil and butter to skillet. Add garlic and oregano and cook, stirring, for 1 minute. Add reserved pasta cooking water and bring to a simmer.

Toss the hot pasta and broccoli in a large bowl with the sauce and the sliced chicken. Add cheese and toss again. Season with salt and pepper to taste before serving.

From Pagliuca's Restaurant in Boston's North End as featured in The New England Cookbook by Brooke Dojny

I have watched the PBS documentary "The Mormons" with great interest, curious at how the rest of the world perceives my religion. I have read blogs debating the validity of this work. I have listened to arguments on the radio about whether or not there is an accurate portrayal in the media of the things that are dear and sacred to me.

I hope that this will open dialogue between those who are curious and their LDS friends. While there were things said in a positive light there were other things that most active LDS members would raise an eyebrow at. As one person posted, "So this is what my nonmember friends and family think of my religion? No wonder they think we are peculiar." I welcome all conversation, but I take offense at an assumption that has been made. One that appears to be widely believed:

I have not, nor have I ever, been treated like a second class citizen as a wife and mother who belongs to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

I am an equal partner with my husband. He treats me with respect. Our decisions are made together.

I am a stay-at-home mom because I choose to be. This choice was made by understanding what is best for my family. This does not mean that I know what is best for your family. I have the most difficult and rewarding job on this earth. I do not need to find my identity outside of my title as "Mom". As a mother, my dreams and goals will affect everyone around me. Other dreams and goals pre-motherhood have not been squashed. They have been set aside for more important work and will resume at a later date.

Thanks for tuning in. I'm getting off the soapbox now.

Counting My Blessings

1. I'm married to Mr. Wonderful. He is my best friend (whodathunk that anyone could take my twin sis' place as BF#1?) He works hard so I can be a SAHM, puts up with my dry sense of humor (which he often has to explain to others), and compliments my right-brained thinking with his left-brained thinking. He makes me feel loved, beautiful, and safe on a daily basis. He encourages me in my dreams. He can fix anything (woo-hoo!) He also happens to be tall, dark, and handsome. ;)

2. Four beautiful kids. Each one unique and determined to teach me something new every day. All healthy (at least for today). They are not perfect but they can be kind, thoughtful, and loving. They make me laugh on a daily basis. DS#2 has recently been teaching DD how to identify Jazz basketball players. She now calls them by name and loves to watch bball with the boys. DS#1 has been playing around with music software and writing his own music. His stuff sounds pretty good. DS#3 comes home from kindergarten with all sorts of facts to share with me. They are involving me in their lives and I love it.

3. DH's job which is taking us on a new adventure.

4. My Twin Sis, to whom my long distance phone calls were once referred to as "cheap therapy" by DH. (He no longer has to worry that "cheap therapy" will once again be part of our budget. Twin sis and I both have Verizon and our calls are free.) She may have been relegated to BF#2 (just as I have since her DH is her BF#1) but she is and always will be my BGF. Through all of my mini- crisis while DH has held one hand, Twin Sis has held the other. She can still finish my sentences for me. I know she will always love me no matter what.

5. My family, which includes DH's brothers and their wives. Their faith in God strengthens me. I love having Family Nights with them and hearing their prayers and testimonies. I love attending their kids baptisms and ordinations and witnessing their faith and strength. I love singing hymns with them and hearing four-part harmony.

6. Music. All kinds of good uplifting music. Religious, classical, jazz, musicals, some contemporary. If the lyrics are clean and something I can play on the CD at home or on the radio with my kids in the car then it can qualify as good music. Lately I have been listening to a radio station that plays Christian as well as non religious contemporary that falls in my category. It has been fun to sing along to. It has been even more fun to hear my 4 yr old DD pick up the lyrics and sing along. It has been a riot to look in the rear view mirror and see her play air guitar along with some of the more upbeat tunes. If she hears a gospel choir singing backup she puts up her hands and "raises the roof".

7. My parents serving a mission in The Democratic Republic of the Congo. Their emails and pictures have taught my kids more about life outside of the United States than anything they have learned at school. Seeing the good they do has motivated my family to find good things to do in our area. We miss them very much (DD keeps asking to see them) but we love having them where they are. My parents recently told me that they expected to have 6 hours a day work time on this mission and so far they have had 12-hour work days. Their new motto is "Let's go do some good".

8. My in-loves doing Family History work at home. They have spent hours on the Internet and at the Family History Library, not only working on their own family history, but helping anyone with their own family history. They are incredible at reading handwritten records from the 1600 that I can't interpret at all. The stories they come up with are amazing (the story of the meaning of their family crest is a riot). On top of this they also work two days a week in the Jordan River Temple and spend hours with their church callings.

Goodbye Gamenight Group

Tonight was game night at our house. We have know these people for 11 years and have been meeting for game night for the past 8 years. Once a month our group rotates which house we go to. The hosts provide a main dish while everyone else brings potluck sides or dessert. There is always good food and good conversation (and its usually LOUD!!)

Tonight's game involved "would you rather" questions or challenges. My team won the game by completing the challenge of belly dancing for 60 seconds. We did not look cool but we did win the game.

I am going to miss these people. We'll try to coordinate our visits back around game night weekend so we can catch up with each other. They have an open invitation to visit us at our new house. I hope they come.

Our main dish tonight. Thanks to my darling twin sis for the recipe.

Christie's Awesome Barbecue Ribs

sauce:

2 T oil
1 med onion minced
1 8 oz can tomato sauce
28 oz can whole tomatoes with juice
3/4 C white vinegar
1/4 Cup packed dark brown sugar
2 T. molasses
1 T sweet paprika
1 T chili powder
2 tsp liquid smoke
1 tsp salt
2 tsp ground black pepper
1/4 Cup orange juice

Heat oil add onion and cook until golden. Add remaining ingredients, bring to a boil, reduce hit to low and simmer uncovered stirring occasionally until thick for 2-2 1/2 hours. Puree the sauce. Transfer sauce to a bowl and use immediately

Pork baby back ribs
1/4 cup table salt
1/2 Cup sugar
2 racks baby back ribs or loin back ribs (4 lbs total)


Take salt and sugar and dissolve in 4 qts cold water in large stockpot. Submerge ribs and refrigerate for one hour until fully seasoned. Remove ribs from brine and pat dry with paper towels.

Take the sauce. Roasting pan line with foil. Put ribs in pan drench with sauce. Bake in oven at 300 for more than 3 hours, continually basting every 15-30 minutes. Try to turn them if you can. They're done when they start falling off the bone

I really miss my mom.

Mom and Daddy are currently in Africa serving as missionaries for the next 18 months (See my link for Barlows In The DRC). They have been gone 3 weeks so far. We are so excited for their willingness to serve and love hearing about their adventures. but email and video cam just don't cut it for some of the separation pangs I've got.

I used to talk to my mom twice a week. The phone calls were spontaneous and most of the time were for no reason other than to see what was going on.

I'm in the middle of packing for our move. During my last move my mom would show up with boxes and help me pack for an hour or two. Sometimes she would just show up and help where ever I needed it most. Now that I am doing it with no help I appreciate her so much more.

I used to call her after DD's doctor appts. to talk with her about the diagnosis. Mom has an RN degree and was great at translating doctorese into something easier for me to understand. She also was great and helping me come up with questions I would never have thought of for the next visit.

Mom was a good source of information when it came to raising teenagers. She survived seven of them (three of them at one time!) and many times had to convince me that I could survive just one.

My daughter keeps looking for her GamaPapa (Grandma and Grandpa) when we go to their house. She doesn't understand that they will be gone for awhile, let alone that there is a place called Africa. I'm having a hard time trying to explain and re-explain that to her.

Then there are the times when a girl just needs her mom. For no reason.

I know that these feelings are normal and its part of the sacrifice of having your parents go on a mission . There truly is no other place I would rather them to be. I guess I just need to get tough with myself. Its part of growing up.

Maybe someday I will grow up.

Cinco De Mayo is coming up! We love playing music, dressing up the table and having a fun family dinner.

Prepare your menus in advance. This is one of our favorites. We love to serve it with strawberry and watermelon agua frescas, rice and pinto beans, fresh salsa cruda with fresh made tortilla chips, lots of chopped cilantro, and whatever sweet Mexican dessert sounds good to us.

Chile Verde

1 tablespoon canola oil
2 (1-pound) pork tenderloins, trimmed and cut into 1-inch cubes
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
1/4 cup all-purpose flour object
4 cups chopped onion
2 pounds small tomatillos, husks and stems removed and quartered
1 pound Anaheim or poblano chiles (about 4 medium), cut into 1-inch pieces
6 garlic cloves, chopped
3 cups water
1 cup chopped fresh cilantro
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1/2 teaspoon dried oregano

Heat canola oil in a stockpot over medium-high heat. Sprinkle the pork evenly with salt and pepper. Place flour in a large zip-top plastic bag. Add pork to bag; seal. Shake to coat. Add pork to pan, and sauté 5 minutes, browning on all sides. Remove pork from the pan.

Add onion, tomatillos, chiles, and garlic to pan; sauté 8 minutes or until tender. Add pork, water, and remaining ingredients to pan; bring to a simmer. Cook 2 hours or until pork is tender, stirring occasionally. Yield: 8 servings (serving size: about 1 1/3 cups)

NUTRITION PER SERVING: CALORIES 267(26% from fat); FAT 7g (sat 1.6g,mono 3g,poly 1.5g); PROTEIN 26.4g; CHOLESTEROL 74mg; CALCIUM 45mg; SODIUM 511mg; FIBER 3.7g; IRON 2.7mg; CARBOHYDRATE 18.9g

Chef: Traci Des Jardins

Cooking Light, MAY 2005

Home and Faith

We found a house we like in Idaho. It is perfect in every way for our needs. And the way it fell into our laps is a bit of a miracle.

DH and I had toured a different house with the same floor plan in this neighborhood. We loved the rooms, the kitchen, the layout, the neighborhood. The elementary school is within easy walking distance. There is is a neighborhood pool and more than one neighborhood park. We didn't like the paint colors but that can be changed with some effort. But buying the house would mean no money for other things like sports, vacations, and fun times. We decided to pass.

We had narrowed down the choices to two and took the kids to Idaho to make our decision and put down an offer. Our Realtors greeted us with some news: there was another house on the market we just had to see. It was in the neighborhood and the floor plan we liked. It was also the model home which meant it had every single upgrade the builder could fit into it. Most important of all, for the next 24 hours the price had been lowered $65,000 for a quick sale. It was within our price range.

We toured the house. Actually we tore through the house. The kids ran around already picking rooms and planning out their lives. They begged us to buy the house. Everything is finished including landscaping and fencing. The only honey-do for DH would be food storage shelves in the garage along side what organization he needs to put up for his tools. We put an offer down, not expecting for it to be accepted. We were a little anxious about it since the offer would not be contingent on us selling our house first.

We were almost home when we got the news that our offer was accepted. This whole experience feels right but we are struggling with our faith because we still need to sell this house. Our realtor calls it thinking positive thoughts. We call it faith and hope and pray this turns out well. Please pray for us that our house will sell quickly at a fair price.

Oh, and if you are ever in our new neighborhood, our house includes a guest bedroom.

Has This Happened To You?

Yesterday, while driving home from Boise, Idaho, we stopped at Mountain Home to get some lunch. While DH waited in line to order food, I left to use the restroom.

When I came back into the line with DH and my family, DD asked loudly "Mommy, did you go potty?" The crowd around us started to chuckle and I quietly answer her that I did. DD spoke up again for all to hear "Good girl! Let me see!" I was holding her in my arms and she climbed over my shoulder and tried to reach the back of my pants. The crowd switched from chuckling to full-out laughter.

I wrestled DD back into my arms. May people approached us in line to tell me how cute DD was or to ask DD what her name was and how old was she? DD answered all of the questions and told everyone to "Have a good day!"

There were also people who told me they had a son/daughter/cousin/grandchild/ or neighbor who has Down syndrome and wanted to share stories and feelings about them. I have discovered that DD will open a lot of doors and show a group of strangers that many of them have something in common.

Now if I could just get DD to understand what is socially acceptable for conversation starters.

Signs My Firstborn Is Growing Up

1. He is officially 1 inch shorter than me as of this week. He constantly walks around on his toes to see what it will be like to be taller than me. I think he is counting down the seconds until it is so.

2. He quit going by the his middle name (the name we have always called him) and started to be called by his first name. We didn't know he had done this until we went to parent teacher conference and the teachers kept calling him by his first name. But the girls calling out to him as we passed them in the halls cinched it. I know why he changed - he likes the sound of that name when the girls say it.

3. He has had his first girlfriend, his first kiss, and his first dumping. He was sad for a day and then got over it quick. The girl didn't have the nerve to dump him in person so she had her friend tell his friend to tell him. May I just say that you couldn't pay me enough money to go through my own teen years again? Oh, about the fact that I found out about this girlfriend from his best friend's mom...DS#1 has promised to tell me these things himself. In more than monosyllabic sentences. Or else. And about that kiss......

4. I have found out that he actually looks forward to dating. In our house that doesn't start until age 16. (Since he has already had his first kiss that official dating age will be moved to 21. So says I.)

5. He is definitely concerned with looks and grooming. I can't get DS#2 and #3 to understand that you can't leave the house without combing your hair and brushing your teeth and making sure your clothes are clean. DS#1 remembers all that and has started spraying on smell-good stuff that he buys with his own money. He is also fanatic about his braces and doing what it takes to get them off as soon as possible.

6. DS#1 is looking forward to driving. H has now taken his parents seriously when we tell him that there will be no license to drive until he has his Eagle. Wow, look!, a new interest in Scouting! Whatever it takes.

7. He is starting to get that mature look, the one where you can finally see the adult in him.

8. His conversations show that he is more aware of the world around him. He comes home from school and wants to talk about the news and current events.

Am I old enough to have a son like this? I don't feel that old.....

For Sale: Home

Our house is officially on the market this morning. I have to clean up the breakfast dishes and then run through the house picking up random things that somehow found themselves on the floor in the middle of the night. My kids claim that they didn't put them there.

I spend yesterday afternoon with a paintbrush in my hand meticulously going over all of DD's Picasso Moments. It took two coats of paint in one instance but it looks much better. I also painted over the footprints (yes, footprints ) on the walls. Again, my kids claim that they didn't put them there.

While I scrubbed the kitchen floor on my hands and knees, DH rallied the troops with bedroom and bathroom cleaning. Yet another box went out to the garage, destined for DI. While checking under the beds he found odds and ends of food and wrappers from various treats. Of course, my kids claim that they didn't put them there.

We must be a real life Family Circle. Just like the comic family, Not Me (an invisible entity) lives at our house. Not Me leaves toys on the floor, footprints on the walls, and candy wrappers under the beds. I wonder if Not Me is also responsible for spilled cereal in the pantry, socks stuffed between couch cushions (because Not Me doesn't like to fold them), and sports equipment dumped in the middle of the driveway?

Citrus Grill's Butternut Squash Fettuccine
(Serves 2)

One of my favorite dishes from one of my favorite restaurants. I like using fresh sage when possible as well as adding other veggies (asparagus, zucchini. etc). I will also substitute fat-free half-n-half for the cream on occassion.

1 Cup Sliced Portabella Mushroom
1 Cup Butternut Squash (Diced ½" and Blanched)
3/4 Cup Diced Tomato
1 tsp Chopped Garlic
1 tsp Sage
½ Cup White Wine or Veggie Stock
½ Cup Cream
2 Cups of Cooked Fettuccine
3 TB Parmesan Cheese
1 TB Olive Oil
Pinch of Salt and Pepper

In a sauté pan cook mushrooms until golden brown in olive oil on medium high heat. Add garlic and salt and pepper and continue to cook for 30 seconds. Combine in tomatoes, squash and continue to cook for an additional 30 seconds.Add white wine and cream. Cook until sauce thickens.Thoroughly stir in sage, pasta and 2 tablespoons of cheese.Garnish with remaining Parmesan cheese and serve immediately.

Seeing Green

Today DH went on an adventure. After calling the local sod company to find out what their prices were (and letting them know that we would be picking it up in order for them to know which price to quote him), DH went to the sod farm....to be told that they had run out of sod. Why did they not tell him that when he called? Because they didn't know he wanted it today.

DH then called me to ask for the address to the next closest sod farm. To be safe, he had me call them to find out prices. All I could get was a recording that they couldn't come to the phone right now and that they started cutting sod on April 1st. DH decided to just go out there........and found no sod farm. Nothing but residential addresses. They apparently had their own sod and were not selling any.

DH finally went to Home Depot to pick up a pallet of sod. not the best quality but by then we were just wanting to get the job done. With help from the kids (DS#1 and DD were playing on the dirt pile) we did the entire job in a little over an hour.

Now it is a bit of a shock whenever I look out the window and see green where there wasn't green before. It makes the house look so much better. Who knew that green grass could make me smile?

Next week: trees, bushes, and flowers all to make our house look good to potential buyers. Please keep us in your prayers. We are specifically asking Heavenly Father to bless us that our house will sell quick and at a fair price.

PORTUGUESE PORK STEW

Many thanks to my CLC friend Kim in Chicago for this fabulous recipe! I love this for entertaining (I found out that you can hold this in the oven on warm if your guests are an hour late). This also works great cooking while you are at your church meetings. Freezes well. My kids love it if I chop the onions and the red peppers small enough so they can't identify them.

Reprinted from the Chicago Tribune
Kim's note: I always serve this with couscous. Warming, substantive and lively in flavor, this stew also can be made with with an equal weight of well-trimmed lamb stew meat instead of the pork.

Preparation time: 30 minutes
Cooking time: 2 1/2 hours
Yield: 4 servings

Ingredients:
3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons salt
Freshly ground pepper
1/2 teaspoon each: ground cloves, dried leaf thyme
2 pounds boneless pork sirloin, trimmed of all visible fat, cut into 1 1/4-inch cubes, patted dry
3 tablespoons light olive oil
2 large cloves garlic, minced
2 large red onions, 1 pound total, coarsely chopped
2 medium red peppers, 12 ounces total, roasted, cut into 1/2-inch squares (Kim's note: A lot of times I just buy a jar of roasted red peppers and dice them up)
1 cup orange juice
1 1/2 tablespoons light brown sugar
1 teaspoon red-wine vinegar
1 bay leaf
Rind of 1/2 orange, removed with grater

1. Put rack in center of oven. Heat oven to 300 degrees.

2. Put flour, salt, pepper, clove and thyme in large plastic bag. Add meat in two batches to coat.

3. Heat 1 tablespoon oil in large skillet over high heat. When hot, add half the meat. Brown on all sides. Set aside in 2-quart casserole. Add 1 tablespoon oil to skillet. When hot, brown remaining meat. Add to casserole.

4. Heat remaining oil in skillet over medium heat. Add garlic and onions. Stir up any browned bits on bottom of skillet. Cook until onions are soft, about 4 minutes. Add to casserole with red peppers, orange juice, sugar, vinegar and bay leaf. Mix well.

5. Bake, covered, for 1 1/2 hours. Stir well, pressing meat down into pan juices. Bake, uncovered, until meat is tender, about 1 hour more. Add grated rind. Adjust seasoning. Can be made as long as three days ahead or frozen. To reheat, bring to room temperature. Bake in preheated 350-degree oven until hot, about 30 minutes. Or cook on high power in microwave oven in covered microwave-safe casserole until hot, about 5 minutes, stirring midway.

Mr. Dream Date (in training)

We have date nights with our kids. Its a chance to spend some one-on-one time with them. This week is was DS#3's turn. He wanted to go see Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Not my first choice for a flick but my opinion wasn't important.

DS#3, who is 6, opened doors for me, paid for the tickets (all right, I did fork over the cash for that) and asked if I wanted any popcorn (no, I didn't but he did buy some for himself). He picked the seats and sat down. Actually, I sat, he bounced up and down in his seat from the excitement of seeing a ninja movie. We talked about school, ninja moves, friends, ninja moves, our upcoming move, ninja moves....... until the trailers started to roll. At that point he hugged me every few minutes and told me how much he loved dates.

During the movie, DS#3 made sure to share his popcorn and sour candy (I think he loved watching me pull a face every time he fed me the candy). He tried hard to be quiet. We did have to discuss proper movie etiquette at one point in the middle of the show. He was then tempted to tell the family behind us the rules of proper movie etiquette as it was obvious that they had never learned them. I pointed out to him that their mom would have to teach them just as I was teaching him.

After the movie he opened the theater door and later the car door for me. We drove home in time for me to make dinner. The talk at the table wasn't just about the movie. DS #3's older brothers quizzed him on how he treated me on the date. They know the drill because they have learned it, too.

These dates were set up to teach my sons how to treat a girl. In these modern times chivalry is not dead. Romance is in. They will know the difference between true compliments and flattery. They will know how to dress for the occasion (the slob look is not in). They will know how to cook a romantic dinner. They will know that bringing flowers for no reason is a very good thing.

Of course, my sons have a great example. My Darling Husband already does all those things.

Family Nights

We've been using part of our Family Nights (every Monday) to teach our children using the book "Teaching Your Children Values" by Richard and Linda Eyre. We focus on one value a month.

Last month the value was Honesty. We talked about the definition of honesty with our younger children ("I ate the cookie and then I said I didn't do it. Is that honest?) and went through scenarios with our older children (You cheated on a test, but it did get you an A. What are the consequences? - You won't study well for the next test and you won't learn anything.) There was even a certificate for Honesty Under Pressure which circulated among the kids during the month. We also learned the Primary song "I Believe In Being Honest" . You can find the song at:

http://www.lds.org/cm/catalogsearchalpha/1,17929,4958-1-2,00.html


This month the value is Courage. I think the Eyre's had the perfect explanation for this. Talmage is the Eyre's son:

Eight Year old Talmage: "Yeah - it takes real courage to be a chicken."
Dad: "What do you mean by that?"
Talmage: Well, I mean if the kids are trying to get you to do something that you don't think is right - or it's really, really dangerous, and they're saying you're chicken, then it takes real courage to be a chicken and say "yeah, I'm a chicken."

I have been surprised at how well my children have participated in this. When I am focusing on the younger two, the older two help out with input and cheering during the games. When I focus on the older two the younger cheer them on with a "Good Job!" and "You're awesome!" The kids even love learning the song I pick to go with the theme. The song is performed for their dad at the last Family night of the month. The song I picked for this month is Dare To Do Right:

http://www.lds.org/cm/catalogsearchalpha/1,17929,4958-1-2,00.html#nullLink

It has been wonderful to listen to my kids as they sing. I firmly believe that singing helps to anchor a lesson and have heard DS#3 singing on his own as he plays or cleans his room.

Here is to raising healthy, happy, responsible kids. I need all the help I can get.

Feeling a little Irish?

A conversation today with my 6 yr old DS#3 while riding in the car:

DS: "Mom, I think I'm feeling a little Irish."

Me: "What? Why do you think that?"

DS: "I feeling a little Irish because I am turning into a Lepercan."

Me: "Lepercan? Do you mean a Leprechaun?"

DS: " Yeah I think I am turning into a Lepercan. I kinda feel like the whole universe is turning into Lepercans."

Me: "The whole entire universe?"

DS: "You know, like Leperdogs, Lepercats, Leperducks........Lepercans."

Me: "You're going to have to explain this to me. You lost me."

DS: "I was watching this show on TV and the boy was turning into a Lepercan and his Mom was already a Lepercan but his Dad wasn't a Lepercan because he isn't Irish. When the boy turned into a Lepercan he felt funny. That's because he's Irish..........."

The next time you're feeling a little Irish check your ears for pointy tops and your clothes for a green tinge. Oh, and look out for Leperducks.

Seeing Red

The Stager has come and gone. She remarked that I had a good eye for arranging furniture. Really? Wow, who knew? However, when it comes to accessorizing, I am incompetent. Rather, I should say, I am nonexistent. I do not buy accessories other than a few pieces of artwork to hang on the wall. There is good reason for that.....

As per the Stager's instructions, I went shopping. Four stores and seven years later (it just seemed like seven years because I do not like to shop) I was the proud owner of 4 red throw pillows, 3 bunches of daisies with red vases, 2 topiaries, (and a partriiidge in a pear treeeeeee). I set things up and the living room does look nicer. At least it did until the boys came home.

Popular belief states that bulls are drawn to the color red. Well, my boys are drawn to red, too. As soon as they came home they noted the changes to our living room. They were drawn to the red pillows............and could not resist the urge to have an impromptu pillow fight. I barely saved the topiaries from being knocked over.

I tried to calmly explain to the boys why we had new accessories and how they were supposed to make our home inviting to prospective buyers. I finally had to end with threatening that anything red was outlawed from their persons and they would be severely punished if caught with any red paraphernalia.

Lucky for me our neighbors just bought a basketball stand. Hopefully the novelty of my new accessories will pale in comparison to a daily ball game.

Oh, The Drama!

I had just settled the kids in bed and reclined on the couch to veg with Star Trek Enterprise when DS#3 called down the stairs to report that someone was locked in the kids bathroom. Oh, great. Dear Husband is out of town. I went upstairs fulling believing that Dear Daughter had somehow gotten out of bed and locked herself in the bathroom. (DD has had her doorknob taken off on the inside of her door to keep her from wandering around the house in the middle of the night). DD was not locked in the bathroom. The victim was Dear Son #2.

DS#2 is 10 and fully capable of getting himself out of the bathroom. For some reason the knob was turning but the bolt was not releasing. We called DH on the phone and he suggested to take off the door knob. We pulled out the tools and I passed my smallest flathead screwdriver under the door for DS#2 to use. He had a little difficulty getting the screws out of the handle but soon had the door knob off. It became apparent that this route wasn't working. I was feeling stupid and DS#2 was beginning to wonder if he was going to spend the night in the bathroom. It really wasn't too bad of an option. He had a source of water and a toilet. He could sleep in the bathtub. But the idea of us passing food under the door didn't appeal to him. So we called our home teacher.

Our home teacher is a young married, no kids. He came over quickly with his wife in tow and tools in hand. It turns out that I wasn't stupid, because he couldn't figure it out either. He worked with his tools for a while and then his wife pulled out a credit card. While he bragged on her breaking-and-entering-with-a-credit-card talents, she taught DS#2 the finer points of wielding a credit card for nefarious purposes. It didn't work but DS#2 gave it a good try. There was no option but to have our home teacher kick down the door. DS#3 was so excited to watch him do it, and wearing flip-flops, too! To DS#3 this was better than his favorite ninja animes. Luckily for us there was no damage to the frame or trim and very little damage to the door. The rest of the hardware fell apart and it was obvious that the door knob was broken. DD (whose bedroom door is right next to the bathroom) slept through it all.

DS#2 was grateful to get out at last and relieved that he wouldn't have to eat breakfast in the bathroom. We thanked our wonderful home teacher and his wife for coming at that late hour and walked them to the door. Tomorrow I will make a loaf of banana bread to take over as a thank you.

Oh, the drama of possible eternal incarceration, hardware puzzles, karate kicks, and having the hero save the day in the end. I think that DS#3 has not been so half well-entertained in a long time. He told me it was better than a movie.

Decisions, decisions......

We have narrowed down the house hunt to two choices. Do we pick the house we really like in the nice-but-not-favorite neighborhood with the big and fully fenced back yard? Or do we pick the house that is okay in the neighborhood we really like because we can finish the basement and sell it to build the house we really want later - that is if the real estate market cooperates which right now it doesn't look like it will. If the market cooperates we could stand to gain ALOT of equity in this house.

I don't think that the decision is important to our salvation. But it would be nice to have some heavenly direction. We will be fasting and praying about the decision in early April. We would be grateful for all prayers, vibes, and good thoughts sent in our behalf.

It looks like we will try to put up our house on the market in early April. I am decluttering and getting ready to paint over all of DD's Picasso moments (which happened the first month we moved in). I am tempted to limit the kids to one school outfit each (and pack the rest), one toy each (and pack the rest), and make them live in the back yard just so I can keep the house clean for potential buyers.

Now for the last decision: it has been recommended by DD's preschool teachers and therapist that we get a dog. Apparently a dog will keep DD from wandering away from home and can be trained to keep her safe. Makes me think of the dog Nana from Peter Pan. The dog will have to wait until we move. The kids are very excited about the whole idea as they have been begging for a dog for years.

I doubt the kids will let me name the dog Nana, dress her in a little white mob cap, and teach her how to serve hot chocolate.

What Can Your Child Get Away With?

Yesterday my 4 year old Dear Daughter and I were standing in line for a frozen yogurt at the mall food court. DD held tightly to my hand while her other hand held a $5 bill (she insisted on paying). DD leaned forward, peered around my knees and spied something just a few feet away.

"Mom, look at that!"

"Look at what, honey?"

"THAT!" DD pointed with her $5 hand.

I looked in that direction and beheld a teen boy. He had jet black-dyed straight hair hanging in his eyes and down the back of his neck. Black t-shirt. Black jeans slung so low that everyone could see what pattern was printed on his boxer shorts. Black boots. Studs on boots. Studs and chains on pants. Studs on belt. Studs on wrist bands. Studs on dog collar. Studs through lips, nose and eyebrows. This guy would never get through security at the airport with all of that metal. Then it hit me: DD had more to say.........

"Oh, thaaat's SILLY!" DD start laughing. A gut-busting Tinkerbell belly laugh. Everyone around us heard her comment, including Mr. Stud Boy and his entourage. And the mall echoes. It sounded like a thousand gut-busting Tinkerbell belly laughs.

I tried not to giggle. Honestly, I did try to keep myself in check. But when DD laughs, its hard not to join her. Within a few seconds the people around us started laughing. The frozen yogurt workers started laughing. The Entourage started laughing. Finally, Mr. Stud Boy started laughing. What else could he do?

Leave it to DD to tell it like it is. And get away with it.

Trials and Blessings......


When people find out that I have a child who has Down syndrome I often get the question "Is your life really hard?" I am always taken aback and I do a quick mental run through of my attitude to see if I act like my trials are overwhelming. I have always been able to think no, my attitude is not reflection of that question. So why am I asked that question?

The question is usually asked in the presence of DD. She is usually smiling, social, and moving. She has a natural curiosity about everything. She does not act like she is making my life hard. So, again, why am I asked that question?

Is it the stigma of the word "Disability"? Years ago, when I didn't know anyone personally who had a disability, did I feel the same way? I can't remember how I felt about that word. There was a young man at the grocery store who had Down syndrome. My kids loved getting into the line where he was bagging groceries. Porter knew every thing you ever could know about Star Wars. Every week my kids would try to stump him with a new question. Porter won every time. When he was done bagging my groceries he would give me a hug goodbye. That hug lasted until the manager came over to help extricate me from Porter's grasp. I didn't mind. His hugs were a guarantee for a good day.

When I think of trials, I think of Parker who has Ds, can't gain weight, has a slew of medical problems, and his parents don't qualify for Medicare yet just one of Parker's meds alone cost over $1000 a month. Check out his link on my blog page.

When I think of trials I think of Pam who has a son with Ds and a daughter with Rett's syndrome. The work she goes through to help her two kids with special needs as well as her two kids without special needs would seems overwhelming. But she is always positive. She is one of my heroes.

When I think of trials I think of a mom I visited a year ago. Her baby boy was born with Ds. Her husband refused to believe that this baby had Ds and adamantly refused the heart surgery that he so desperately needed (He also refused to let her tell anyone in their families that the baby had Ds). This family was living in a small 3 bedroom apartment with 7 kids. The mom had no emotional support. I went there to give her information and help her know what to do next. Her baby boy, named Michael, was beautiful. As I held him (and was tangled up in oxygen tubing) I started to cry with the mom. I shared my thoughts with her on how babies with disabilities are given to us because we need them. As I listened to her story , I became more grateful than ever for an incredible husband and wonderful sons,and a loving extended family.

My life isn't hard. I do have trials. I will admit to becoming a basket case for the day DD has her cardiology visit and they remind me how bad her heart defect is. Give me 24 hours to grieve and I get over it. She will have surgery someday. In the meantime, she loves school and does well. She loves to sing and wants to learn to play the piano. We plan on teaching her ASL as a second language. My sons are kinder because of her. They are the ones who single out other kids with disabilities in their classrooms and become their friends and helpers. As much as I would love to cure DD, I wouldn't change for the world how much she has affected our family.

My favorite quote is from Scott Hamil the skater: "The only disability is a bad attitude." To that I have to say a resounding AMEN!

Singing Is Ripping Your Heart Out And Handing It To Your Audience

Call me the craziest person on the planet, but I hate American Idol. I believe that you can give a dose of reality without being cruel. I can't stomach cruelty - there is NEVER a good reason for it. A.I., especially during the auditions, is saturated in it. I can't watch it.

A lot of my loathing boils down to a bad experience I had in college. A bad 3 1/2 year experience.

I was a musical dance theater major in college. I had a vocal scholarship and a healthy dose of self confidence going in. One of my professors (who was actually a visiting professor from another university) could have been Simon's Evil Twin Sister (SETS). Given the fact that she didn't have a british accent...I guess I could call her Simon's Evil Twin Sister Adopted At Birth By An American Family. This professor made it her mission to give us all a "healthy dose of reality".

We were all required to get up and sing every week. This meant a lot of prep work and memorization. Critiquing was involved, but all singers know that critiquing is how we improve. But SETS didn't seem to agree with the notion. Every week, one girl was told by SETS in front of our class that she was a flake and that SETS was determined to cure her of it. This had nothing to do with her vocal technique. That girl lasted one year. A guy was told weekly that he would never be a lead because he would never be good looking. He lasted two years. Our class kept dwindling and the MDT department struggled to undestand why they couldn't keep students.

Every week, I was told that I did not "do it right". I felt lucky to have ducked under the radar of SETS, as she had proven she could be so much more cruel. She made up for all of that and more at juries. Juries were held at the end of each semester. Each student had to sing, dance, and do a monologue in front of judges. My last semester I was singing in front of 6 judges , including SETS. It was always a stressful, nerve-wracking time. But after my song, SETS spoke up: "That was terrible. You can't sing and you really shouldn't be in this program." I was exhausted. I had mono and didn't know it. I hadn't slept for nearly 24 hours. With this comment I felt like I had wasted all my years of college. Two professors, including my vocal coach started arguing with SETS while the drama professors came over to me. I was in tears and still had to perform my monologue. The drama profs tried to help me turn my emotion and anger into my advantage for my monologue. They sat down as I started. Not three sentences in, SETS started to speak again. All the judges shushed her. I stopped and looked at her, picked up my music, and walked out as the judges started arguing with SETS about my vocal scholarship.

I did not sing again for two years. I did not even sing hymns in church. It wasn't until my DS#1 was born that I started to sing again. Lullabies, Primary songs, and hymns - they were good medicine for my damaged spirit.

Those years in college were the most awful time of my life. I wouldn't wish that cruelty on anyone. I never went back.

One thing good did come from that experience. I learned compassion and I learned how not to teach. When I teach voice lessons I do offer critiques. That is how vocalists learn. But before any student leaves my house, I ask them to list three things they did good in that session. The first few times are the hardest. No one likes to compliment themselves. I usually have to help them along with suggestions. Once they learn that they can't leave until they do, they play along and find three good things. Then it is my turn to list three more good things. The lesson ends on a positive note (oh, pun definitely intended) and the students leave my house standing a little taller.

We're taught that adversity makes you a stronger, better person. I just wish that adversity didn't have to be so darn painful. I probably should thank SETS. It was a horrible lesson but at least I get to finish the ending.

Good To Know:

"Mom", DS#3 informed me today, "I think it would be good not to ever race rhinocerouses."

(long pause)

"Are you going to tell me why you think so?", I asked.

"Well, if they tossed you over their head, you would get stuck on their horn and that wouldn't feel good", he replied matter-of-factly.

Hmmmm. That's good to know, love.

Days 5,6,7

I trekked to the Afton's Sweet Shoppe for the traditional 5 kinds of fudge. This year I chose Mint Chocolate, Raspberry Cream, Cheesecake Caramel, Butterfinger, and Praline. I took DD with me who charmed the shop owner and loved seeing all of the floor-to-ceiling displays of candy. We learned that Afton's will ship fudge to us every year so I can continue this tradition (if I really want to pay the shipping fees). The box was wrapped with a cute red bow. DD insisted on holding the box all the way home. I found out her intentions when I parked the car in the garage; she had tried to take the ribbon off the box , fully intending to open it and sample the fudge.

The box was on DH's dinner plate when he sat down. The kids did not care about dinner, they wanted dessert right then! We save the fudge for our Family Night Treat.

This morning DH woke up to 6 freshly made cinnamon rolls. (This meant that DH actually had to eat breafast, which he rarely does.) The kids enjoyed as much as they could eat at the kitchen table. Tomorrow DH will be given a letter stating that there are seven more days until he can enjoy his Vanlentine's dinner: Crab Cakes, Garlic Lover's Shrimp Pasta, Roasted Asparagus with Balsamic Brown Butter, and a Caramel Apple Tarte Tatin for dessert.

The best day so fat was Day #4. I couldn't find frames that I liked so I taped each child's black & white 8x10 on his bathroom mirror and wrote in red lipstick "On the 4th Day of Valentines - 4 kids who love you!" On the bottom left corner of the mirror I taped my 8x10 portrait and wrote "and 1 cute wife who loves you, too." DH came into the bathroom to get ready for church and started laughing. He laughed the entire time it took him to comb his hair and shave. The pictures are still up along with the lipstick'd note. The kids keep walking into the bathroom to look at it.

I wonder how long it will stay up?

The Fourteen Days of Valentines

It's that time of year again. It is the 14 Days of Valentines. Here is your chance to strengthen you marriage, show your kids how to be romantic, and smother your man with sentimental sweet love.

Today my Darling Husband opened his truck to find a cute Valentines Day gift bag with......a Sarah Boynton book. For those of you not in the know, Sarah Boynton is the favorite author of...my darling daughter. It is a little kid's book. But before you think I lost a few more brain cells: DH reads to DD every night. Every night she picks a favorite Sarah Boynton book: Oh My-O-My-O Dinosaurs, Dogs, Barnyard Dance.... she has the whole collection. Tonight, and many nights after that, she will ask DH to read to her this new book called About Love. Every night DH reads the book, he will think about me.

Oh, yes, I am very sneaky.

Tomorrow will be a sweet valentine card with the my side of the story about how he kissed me on our second date. (This is a story he will not let me live down, a story that will remain legend in our family.) I was so shocked that I did not kiss him back. He didn't kiss me again for SIX MONTHS and then asked permission before he planted one on me. (I did kiss back that time.) That kiss was tres romantique.

Day three happens to be DS#1's fourteenth birthday. DH will discreetly recieve a gift cert for two movie tickets and a box of his favorite movie candy. Datenight will have to wait for another time as we focus on our first born.

Day four will be 4 8x10 b&w photos in black frames, a head shot of each of our kids. I have to buy AA batteries today so I can take the pics this afternoon and get them to Costco for developing. These will go into his office with a second copy for me to hang at home. I hope the kids cooperate.

You'll have to wait for the next week's ideas when I post again. Pick some simple ideas and try it yourself. It's great marriage therapy (and don't we all need marriage therapy?)

We're (almost) Off On Another Great Adventure!

Just before Christmas we were given a surprise: DH was offered a management position within the company. It is a fabulous opportunity for him. But, it would require a move............. to Another City In Another State.

When DH first told me of the offer I was adamantly against it. I made my reasons known. Then, when the feeling of "Bad Unsupportive Wife" guilt arose, I told him that I would try to keep an open mind. He thought that was fair as he wanted to check things out before making a decision. For two weeks I was in a funk. Finally one night I poured my heart out in prayer and listed to Heavenly Father all of my reasons why I did not want to move:
1. We just moved here. We wouldn't be in the house for one year before moving again.
2. Moving would be hard on the kids. There would be no cousins close by and they would have to make friends all over again.
3. I don't want to leave our family and friends.
4. I was just starting to reapply to the university to go back to school. What about me?
(More feelings of "Bad Unsupportive Wife" surfaced so I ended my prayer and went to bed feeling very depressed).

I woke up the next morning with the thought: "Hey this is a great opportunity for DH. Let's do it!" My mental rah-rah cheerleaders were shaking pompoms and turning backflips. I don't know what happened in my sleep. I don't remember any visions. I'm not sure if I was given subconcious counsel. (if I was I would say that it is very unfair that I can't remember.) I called DH at work and told him my thoughts, he was rather surprised at my 180 degree turn.

DH announced the idea to our families. Instead of negative feedback (which we expected), everyone was supportive. They were actually excited for us and said they would come visit.

DH's company flew us to The Other City In Another State at their expense. We met a pair of realtors that we feel very comfortable with. My dear sis has a dentist recommendation for us. My uncle and aunt who live there will be our family support and have made us feel loved and welcomed. No need to hunt for a new bank as Dear Uncle works for one. No worries about finding a pediatric cardiologist as Dear Auntie works for one. It shouldn't be too hard to find a pediatrician and other things we will need. We found two neighborhoods we liked. The local university has the programs I want so it looks like I will be going back to school. (DH actually asked me to check into that before we left as he is as excited as I am about that idea.) This whole moving adventure is looking better and better.

During Family Night we held a council with the kids and told them they could say anything they wanted about the idea of moving. DH explained the opportunity to them. I showed them the neighborhoods, houses, and cool-things-to-do-in-The-Other-City on the internet. When they each took their turn there was not one negative thing said. The three boys were for the move. DD, being to young, just enjoyed the treats after the council.

The last hurdle was talking to DH's boss about the criteria. DH made a list of things that would have to happen and spoke to Boss last Monday. It turns out that Boss had the same criteria. He is now in the middle of writing things up to make it official.

Looks like this summer we are off for another Great Adventure.

It's The Little Things....

I just wanted to share the no-money gifts we've received this month:

1. Having 15 deer appear in our backyard during lunch yesterday. Two of our young cousins are staying the weekend and loved the idea of woodland animals near our house. With the deer, the snow, and the season it looked very much like a picture postcard.

2. We took DD to Shriner's Hospital for her annual neck x-ray. The Atlanto Axial Instability is gone! I asked the dr. to repeat it again to make sure I heard him right. Oh, how I love miracles. Now her x-rays on neck and hips will be once every two years.

3. DS#1 has informed us that he has been voted "Best Hair Of The Eight Grade" and had his picture take for the yearbook. The best part of all this is actually a small victory. He wanted his hair long and it was a constant battle between us. The day we moved here my Daddy took him to get his hair cut. He told DS#1 that since Grandpa was paying, Grandpa would be dictating the haircut. Long, shaggy hair was chopped into a short 'do with a spiky top. He has worn it that way every since. I will be framing that yearbook picture.

4. DS#2 Now has so many friends that he could not invite them all to his birthday party. There is an endless stream of kids knocking on our front door asking to play with him. My Social King has polished his crown and wears it with a rakish tilt.

5. DS#3 is learning to read and spell. It was been fun to watch this awakening. Currently his favorite song to sing is to the tune of Aretha Franklin's "R-E-S-P-E-C-T". "B-L-A-C-K! Black is what I'm wearing today!" This is sung over and over like a broken record because his favorite jeans are black and due to the fact that he can't remember the rest of the song.

6. After months of working, DH finished the rennovations of our old house and it closed at the beginning of this month. We finally have him home on weeknights and weekends. We've had two Saturdays where there was nothing he had to do. We took advantage and played as a family.

There are too many gifts to list here but I keep them recorded in my heart. I do know how and where to send my thanks and it won't be with a handwritten note.

Happy St. Lucia Day!

St. Lucia Day is December 13, but my family traditionally celebrates the Saturday after. Instead of breakfast in bed we all gather around the table in our pjs. Instead of St. Lucia Buns and coffee, I make Orange Rolls and Stephen's Gourmet Cocoa.

Here is to celebrating traditions. My gift to you is my orange roll recipe. Tell me your holiday traditions (traditional recipes are always welcome, too!)


St. Lucia Orange Rolls

1 Tablespoon Yeast
1/3 Cup warm water
1 Tablespoon honey
1/2 Cup butter
1/4 Cup sugar
1 Cup scalded milk
1 egg, lightly beaten
3 Cups flour
6 Tablespoons butter
1/2 Cups white sugar
2 Tablespoons grated orange zest
1 Cup powdered sugar
1 1/2 Tablespoons fresh orange juice
In a small bowl dissolve yeat, warm water and honey. Let proof 5 minutes.
Meawhile, scald milk, turn off heat and add 1/ Cup butter and salt. Let stand until lukewarm and butter is melted.
Mix the proofed yeast with the milk mixture, eggs and flour to form a sticky dough. Lightly oil a large bowl, place dough in bowl and turn to coat with oil. Cover and let rise in the fridge overnight.
Remove dough from fridge 2 hours before baking. Roll into a 1/4 thick rectangle. Mix softened butter with orange peel and 1/2 Cup white sugar. Spread orange zest mixture over dough and roll up. Cut rolls into 1" slices with dental floss. Place in greased muffin cups. Let rise until double in bulk.
Bake at 400 degrees for 10-15 minutes.
Let cool slightly. Mix together powdered sugar and orange juice and drizzle over orange rolls.
Makes 12-18 rolls.

God Bless The Little Children.....

Last week we were getting ready for bed when DS#2 told me he needed two handmade puppets required for his book report the next day. The same time I remembered that DS#3 needed a VIP poster made for his birthday. Yes, I was up past midnight. Being the uncrafty person that I am, they were not spectacular but they were presentable.

The next morning I was exhausted as I put the VIP poster away for safekeeping until it was time for DS#3 to go to school. Not long before the buses came I found the VIP poster on the floor. The pictures were torn off. There was my Darling Daughter with half of a family picture in her hand.

I yelled at my daughter. (Condemn me all you want, I condemn myself even more.) DD smiled at me and said "I sorry Mom!" "No you're NOT!" I snarled back (oh, yes, I do condemn myself more than you do). DD left the room. I sat on the kitchen floor with a bottle of Elmers and a chopstick trying to piece the poster back together in the little time I had left. DD peeked around the corner of the stairs. "I sorry Mom?", she asked me. I didn't look up as I answered "No, you're not!" DD left again. I was rather enjoying my pity party on the floor when DD came up behind me. She put her arms around me from behind. I stopped my frantic gluing and turned to look at her. DD's bottom lip was poking out and a single tear coursed down her cheek. "Mom", she said softly, "I too sorry."

Leave it to my 4 year old to teach me about forgiveness. Who am I to say who gets to ask for forgiveness? Why did I hang onto my anger over what a 4 year old did? Christ taught us to forgive all men and my own daughter had to remind me of that. I put my arms around her and told her that I was sorry. She sat in my lap and showed me in her way that all was forgiven.

Before I became pregnant with my last child I would pray to our Heavenly Father to bless me with wisdom. His answer was to send me this special little girl. I hope He forgives me for all of the parenting mistakes I make.

The Wisdom of a Kindergartener

DS#3 came home full of enthusiam for the kindergarten Thanksgiving celebration. "Mom, did you know that they ate popcorn but they didn't have jello?" He showed me the Indian costume he made, complete with headdress, paper grocery bag vest and shaker instrument. "And, Mom, they danced like this". (What followed was a cross between disco and howling-at-the-moon.)

"We ate turkey and pineapple, but they didn't have pineapple, Mom, because that grows in Hawaii. We also had rolls and cake!" (Travolta-cross-point-and-awoooo!)

I finally got him settled down enough to hear my question. "Do you know who was at the first Thanksgiving?" "Sure, Mom" he replied. "Everybody knows that." (roll-the -hands-and-do-the-hustle)

"Sweetheart, why don't you remind me who was at the first Thanksgiving." (Big sigh from DS#3 as he stops his spinning to talk patiently and slowly:)

"The Indians and the Mormons!"

Happy Thanksgiving!

ARE YOU FEELING RICH?


Today one of my younger sons asked "Mom, when are we going to be rich?" There followed a conversation about most likely never being rich but having sufficient for our needs. As the day has gone on, I have been thinking about just how rich we are. Mind you, this is not the world's definition of rich. I've had a list growing in my head all afternoon:

1. We have been praying throughout October that our old house might sell before Novemember and "at a fair price". Our realtor called us on Halloween night with the news that an offer had been made and that he thought it was a fair price. We laughed at the wording and knew our prayers had been answered. The house closing will be the day after Thanksgiving. Not having two mortgage payements makes me feel rich, indeed. Having my testimony strengthened yet again about the power of prayer: Priceless.

2. My Dear Husband works hard so I can stay home with the kids. He has never once said anything disrespectful to me, nor said anything derrogatory about me to someone else. He compliments every meal (which the kids now do, following his example). DH is constantly making me feel loved and beautiful. He brings me flowers for no reason. He takes me on a date every week. He honors his priesthood and he is a good father. Having married Mr. Wonderful makes me feel rich, indeed. Being married to someone I love with all of my heart: Priceless.

3. This morning it was too quiet at my house (which you all know means that one or more kids are getting into trouble). After hunting around I found my 3 younger children. They were cuddled together in a quilt on one of the boy's beds while Dear Son #2 read to Dear Son #3 and Dear Daughter. Having peace in the house is rare and makes me feel rich, indeed. Seeing that my kids really do love each other: Priceless.

4. Today is Veteran's Day. I've always been interested in reading about the personal stories of Veterans in our country. I am constantly amazed at the sacrifices that are so willingly given. Right now in Iraq are stories about soldiers building schools in their free time, civilians thanking the soldiers for coming to help them get their country back, political leaders in that country risking their lives because they believe strongly in building a democracy. Most of these stories are not reported by mainstream media. It makes me think of what our Founding Fathers went through to build our government. Was it appreciated then? How many of them risked their lives? Living in America makes me feel rich, indeed. Being free to worship how I want, say what I want, and live where I want: Priceless.

What makes you feel rich?