Sunday Gratitudes

1. I'm grateful that Thirdborn had his baptism interview with our bishop today. I wasn't able to be there (The Love Magnet had an accident and had to be taken home and change her dress). Bishop said that Thirdborn knew all the answers and that he did great. Hard to believe that in a few more weeks my youngest son will be baptized.

2. I'm grateful that I have had no more chest pain this past week. I feel great. I'm looking forward to tomorrow and my first run in two weeks.

3. Mr. Wonderful has been helping me study for an upcoming exam (essay questions) all about macromolecules. I've been struggling, so Mr. Wonderful took it upon himself to start with elementary organic chemistry. He's helped so much (and not once has he lost his patience with me when I couldn't answer a question. He said that he would probably do the same thing if he took a music theory class.)

4. While we're talking about Mr. Wonderful, we went on our first date in over a month. Our weekends had been consumed with illnesses, exhaustion, or someone needing his help. No barriers to date night this week. It was great to get out. There weren't any movies we wanted to see, so we drove around looking at houses, talking, and then ended up at a new-to-us local Italian place. The food was great (score!) and the restaurant was quiet with great ambiance (double score!) I love supporting local restaurants (as much as I dislike chain places). We had our server box up dessert which we ate at home while watching a video. It was so good to get out and spend time together.

5. I'm grateful for teachers. I met with the teachers of Thirdborn and The Love Magnet this past week. The ideas they have to help my children have been wonderful. The kids love to be in their classrooms.

6. I took my three younger kids to the Art Museum yesterday. The exhibit we went to see closed two days early. Instead we wandered around the museum. Secondborn has started an art class at his school and was very interested in looking at exhibits. I need to take him back without the youngest two children so I can enjoy it more (I was more concerned in making sure they didn't touch things they shouldn't). I see a future date with my son.

7. Firstborn had State swim meet this past weekend. Although he didn't qualify to be on first string, he still swam and did great. I got it on film. I'm grateful that he got involved in something this year. It looks like he wants to train with the local community team now in order to be ready for next year.

8. Secondborn's team won their first basketball game this past weekend with Secondborn scoring more than 1/3 of the points. He was happy and I was so excited for him. I'm grateful that he is enjoying this.

9. I'm grateful that most of my Christmas shopping is done. Gotta figure out how I'm going to hang the outside lights.

10. I'm grateful for quiet Sundays and church. In the lessons each week I always find something new to me, or something that I can improve on about myself. There is such a spirit of love that I find among the sisters in my ward. These women amaze me. Each of them has such a strength that I often wonder they even know about themselves. I love being with them ever Sabbath.

Go ahead and hate me.

My Christmas shopping is half done. I need to figure out whom my family is gifting out of the sibs (we draw names to exchange gifts) and figure out what to get for the parents. The kids are mostly done (rather easy since all Firstborn wants is GCs).

I have decided on the neighbor gifts this year, thanks to The CompleteLee Blog (Mama Rika just so happens to be one of my college roomies way back when). The recipe for Warm Cinnamon Milk was tested today and declared a very big hit. The Pepparkakor recipe looks yummy. The two will be paired together (per Mama Rika's suggestion) for neighbor gifts.

Christmas decorating at my house is contained to one room so I will be done uber fast this year. The boys will take care of the outside. Mr. Wonderful and sons will be building me a tiered table this year for the Christmas Village which will reside in the entry.

If I start addressing Christmas cards on Sunday (and every Sunday until Thanksgiving weekend) I will be ready to mail out the cards December 1st. That reminds me, I still need to call Julie to get our family picture appt.

St. Lucia Day will be celebrated December 12th this year to work around my own school schedule. The dough can be refrigerated overnight (remember, I make orange rolls. Not traditional but I don't care.) and baked in the morning. Only two classes to bake for this year. At least I think so.

I know you really don't want to hear about Christmas yet. But I passionately hate shopping in the stores at Christmas (Oh, the crowds! Oh, the Gimmes!), I hate running around like crazy trying to fit everything into one season. I have a streamline plan that I follow most years. That way, on December 1st, all I have to worry about are finals, and attending a party or two. Hate me all you want. I'll be the one with my feet up, wearing comfy pjs, showing no stress, and drinking warm cinnamon milk.

Did you?

Strange: I don't remember ever voting where I had to fill out the ballot as if I were taking the SAT. That was also one smallest "things to vote for" I have ever seen. Not many people beyond the presidential office, local senate race, a bunch of local judges, state university board election, and one tax item.

Cool: While I was registering, a kid who looked barely old enough to vote came in with his two buddies who were already wearing their "I Voted" stickers. He told the women at the desk that he wasn't going to vote until his friends convinced him to do it and gave him a ride to the polling station.

Almost Convinced: that Election Day should be a national holiday so people can get out to vote. While talking to my fellow students today, many were not voting because they had class all day until late tonight. Of course, there was early voting available. They had their chance. Like I said, I was almost convinced.

Relieved: that after today we will be rid of negative campaign commercials.

Ready: to put on PJs, make popcorn and hot chocolate, and sit down to watch the election results.......or watch a movie while occasionally changing channels to watch election results. Too bad I have class tonight.

Sunday Gratitudes (on a Monday)

1. One year ago yesterday we adopted Dear Sweet Doggie Girl. I was not a pet person. This whole adoption idea came about because a special educator told us that it would be good for The Love Magnet. The boys were excited beyond belief at the prospect. Well, one year ago TODAY I fell head over heels in love with Dear Sweet Doggie Girl. She is the first to greet me when I get home from school. She loves to be my running partner. When I came home from the hospital last week, DSDG parked herself on the floor by my bed and would often get up to lick my hand. We guessed she was checking up on me. When I would wake up from a nap, DSDG had somehow gotten on my bed and snuggled herself between me and the 4" of bed left before the edge of the mattress. She helped Mr. Wonderful take care of me that day. Heavenly Father blessed us the day she became part of our family.

2. MY PARENTS ARE HOME!!! (I won't get to see them until Thanksgiving. But I did get to talk to Mom last night.)

3. I just found out today that if:
a) I test out of a humanities class (very doable)
b) I test into a 127 level math class (I'm not too sure about that but Mr. Wonderful said its definitely doable b/c he will tutor me.)
c)get the university to approve an astronomy class credit from a previous school

that I can earn my Associates of Science degree after summer semester AND apply to enter my major for fall '09. That is one year ahead of schedule!

4. I'm grateful that our family makes such a concerted effort to get everyone around the table at dinner. It is rare when it doesn't happen. I love how my kids try harder to get along during conversation. I love how The Love Magnet reminds everyone to keep their elbows off the table. I love how Mr. Wonderful has taught all the kids to thank me for the meal before they ask to be excused.

5. I'm grateful for the friendships I've made at school. They have noticed my absence this past week.

6. I'm grateful for my kindred spirit, Gingersnapspice, who knows nearly everything there is to know about literature (and can help my find a book simply from my description of "picture book about clouds and a factory"). Ging is a genius. I loved catching up with her last night.

7. I'm grateful that Secondborn did great in his first basketball game of the season, even if his team did lose. Secondborn made half of his team's points. He did awesome.

8. I'm grateful that we could come up with last minute costume ideas that turned out to be a lot of fun for the kids.

9. I'm grateful that I have half of my Christmas shopping done. I should finish right before Thanksgiving.

10. I have to show gratitude to my professors for not making my life miserable for missing last week. They have all been good to help me keep my grades without penalty.

For my brother Nate...Top this!

My result for How good of a Calvinball player are you?...:

Your Grade= A+ Good knowledge and excellent strategy!

Amazing. You are part of the 4.3% of the population that landed in this category.^* You know the game and its history well, and you did amazingly well when it came to playing Calvinball strategically.

This suggests that you probably have a natural talent in Calvinball. You have learned that the trick to doing well in Calvinball is not brute strength, but quick wit. With your natural ability you could go far.

You are definitely already talented enough to beat Calvin. A match versus the quick-witted tiger would be close. I'm going to give you the edge, but his superior knowledge of the game might propel him to victory.

* This is a made up number.

Take the test here.

First time making.....

Red Jello Popcorn Balls

Not too bad for my first attempt

And another picture of The Love Magnet

(she is singing....because she is "da Singer in da Wock Band")

I just knew that would make you smile.

Halloween Traditions

My Grandma S made hundreds of red jello popcorn balls every Halloween. Kids came from all over for those treats, even though Grandma lived on a busy street. Parents who had received them as kids brought their own little ones to collect their own Halloween popcorn ball.

I always managed to take my kids to Grandma's house last. She loved seeing the kid's costumes. We'd hang out for an hour as the trick-or-treaters dwindled, visiting Grandma and talking about everything while the kids played with toys or read books to Grandma. When it came time to go home, Grandma would fill a grocery bag full of the remaining popcorn balls for us. Here is where I admit to greed: I would let the kids have one popcorn ball each and horde the rest for myself. There, I said it. I'm greedy. My flaws are many and glaring.

I am missing Grandma and her popcorn balls tonight. I didn't have time to make any so I popped a quick batch of popcorn (using my new Whirly-Pop. You have GOT to get one of these! Have you noticed the ingredients and salt amount in microwave popcorn?) and topped it with butter and cinnamon sugar. I thought that it would at least be sweet like popcorn balls.

Tasted great.

Still craving popcorn balls.

I miss Grandma.

Last night, as I was driving home from swim practice, I started thinking about Grandma's popcorn balls....and soon big fat tears rolled down my cheeks. I told Grandma how I missed her. I told her that I needed the rest of her recipe for Date Pinwheel Cookies (the baking instructions are left out of the family cookbook she made). I told her that Mom and Daddy are coming home and how excited every one was in my family. I think she heard me.

Tomorrow I will make red jello popcorn balls one day late. And I will make sure that my calendar has a Halloween list of things to do next year. Between the decorating and the costume planning (which didn't happen too much this year for obvious reasons - see Wed. post) will be "make time for popcorn balls". I think my kids will like that tradition.

Happy Halloween!

Checking, one..two..three...

The photo journalist slyly zooms in on her target (from the second floor balcony - just trying to test out the zoom on this baby.)

And the oblivious teen is, well, oblivious.

His preteen brother is not so oblivious. "Mom, what are you doing?"


Preteen Secondborn goes back to obliviousness as he shows his love for The Love Magnet. We are all powerless to resist.

The next day....

Thirdborn is Student of the Week, thereby granting him power to invite his parents to lunch. Thereby also granting him power to dictate what is for lunch. Unfortunately, nutrition is lost on him as he requests Mc. D's

The Love Magnet joins us for lunch.

(See the shiner? Yep, I gave that to her. I didn't realize that A) she was behind the door, and B) she is exactly eye-level to the door handle. Lucky for me, The Love Magnet loves to show her shiner to everyone she meets and tell them "Mommy did it.")

Thirdborn and his buddies.

The Love Magnet and one of her many admirers. The Love Magnet is not smiling because she insisted on continuing to chew her french fries.

Finally we get a smile from The Love Magnet and Thirdborn all because Mr. Wonderful is there.

Happy Halloween!

I hate waiting for the unknown

Tuesday morning I woke 4 a.m. with severe chest pain and my right shoulder numb. The pain got worse in just a few minutes. Mr. Wonderful called for an ambulance and I was whisked off to the hospital.

(One of my girlfriends has asked if the firemen and EMTs who showed up were cute. How on earth should I know?! I was in pain worse than no-drugs-labor. Besides, no reason to rate the cuteness of firemen and EMTs when Mr. Wonderful blows them all out of the water.)

I should have just had Mr. W take me to the hospital. He got there at the same time as the ambulance. It felt like the ambulance took every road construction project on the route to get to the hospital. Someone really needs to redesign those things for a smoother ride. Mr. W's truck would have been much more comfortable.

The ER dr. ordered blood work, EKG, chest x-ray and a MRI. After all this was done, ER doc ruled out heart attack and pulmonary embolism (that's a blessing right there. I thought I was having a heart attack.) ER doc thinks it might have been a esophageal spasm due to acid reflux (I don't get heartburn, what on earth is he talking about?) or an ulcer. He has prescribed an ulcer med (that gives me heartburn) and Prilosec. I have an appt. with my personal physician this Friday to discuss everything and decide where to go from there.

Since I don't know if this will happen again, I had to cancel going to UT to see my parents come home from their mission (Mr. W. can't go and if I had another attack while driving, well, that's just an accident waiting to happen.)

ER doc also gave me a note to stay home from school this week and rest (part of his prescription. I didn't ask for it.) My profs have all been good about it. I'll spend the time studying....and playing with my new birthday toy thanks to Mr. W's parents, my southern grandmother M, and my own budget. A brand spanking new sweet Kodak Z1015 IS.

You're gonna see more pics on this blog.

(PS - please pray for me. I'm a big believer in prayer. I want really good news come Friday.)

What I...

What I learned to make today at Auntie M's baking class

What I won for going to Auntie M's baking class

What I bought after Auntie M's baking class

Where I wish I was right now (with Mom and Daddy and twin sis and niece)



What I am craving right now




What I have to study tonight

What else I have to study tonight

Surprises in Psychology

On Tuesday my Psych class revisited the moral question of $100 (see The Missing Moral Compass post). I didn't get a chance to respond as my prof was trying to get to the point and move on. However, the next question was just as interesting:

"Why do you do nice things for your significant other?" The class answers were "Because you want something in return". I had enough of this and raised my hand.

"Why not do it because you love him?"

My psych prof stopped in his tracks and stared at me. "For love alone? You're kidding, right? You're not kidding. Are you altruistic and would return the $100 lost in the parking lot, too?"

I stated that I would and then waited for the death trap I knew he was laying for me. I even told him I was expecting it. He surprised me instead.

"I admire you. No, I am not kidding. I really admire you."

As Mrs. Man would say, color me surprised. But only for a minute. My prof now wants to meet Mr. Wonderful. He wants to know if I keep Mr. Wonderful drugged and duct-taped in a back room so I can claim how wonderful our marriage is. I've told this to Mr. Wonderful, who is quite keen on coming to my class to hear for himself the outrageous statements of my prof and peers.

Wouldn't the Love Magnet Look Absolutely Darling In THIS?!

Check out this blog called Grosgrain Fabulous for details.

Oh, yes, the Love Magnet would look absolutely darling in this. I wonder if Thirdborn would mind changing his costume from a vampire to a courtier?

(Maybe a vampire courtier? D'you think he would mind?)

News from the (Love Magnet's) Heart and Happy Birthday to Mr. Wonderful

Today we went to see a new local cardiologist recommended by our pediatrician. The Love Magnet showed she still remembered the routine for being weighed and measured. She held still for the echo. (Proud Mom Moment: when the radiologist (echo-ologist?) asked her to take off her shirt, the Love Magnet looked at me and asked if it was okay. We have been talking every day about modesty and that we show no one our private parts, not even doctors, unless Mommy or Daddy are there. The Love Magnet remembered and did exactly what we told her to do. Woo-hoo!!)

Then we met with our new pediatric cardiologist. She listened to The Love Magnet's heart for a few minutes and checked her all over. Then Dr. Cardiologist turned to me and said "If I didn't see the scar, if I didn't have FOUR INCHES of paperwork sent to me from PCMC telling me exactly what was done, I would not know that your daughter had heart surgery. Her heart sounds perfect."

Perfect! (I love the sound of that word.)

What a present to add to the 40th birthday of Mr. Wonderful. Mr. Wonderful loves that I am older than him (but he was conceived first - I was born three months premature. So there.) We had a quiet family dinner at home (Garlic Lovers Shrimp and Scallops over pasta, Caesar salad)and a purchased cheesecake since I didn't have time to make a cake today. I think he enjoyed it. He loves his new birthday present (running shoes. REAL running shoes.) The only thing that would make this day perfect is if we got miracle news that our house in Utah sold.

Pssst. Anyone want to buy a fabulous 4 bedroom family house in Lehi? Leave a comment and I will let you know the details.


Leave a comment anyway. Tell Mr. Wonderful Happy Birthday. Tell The Love Magnet hooray for her heart.

Sunday Gratitudes

Brother #4 and his family came to visit. The kids had so much fun with their cousins - especially The Love Magnet as she got to hang around girls for three days. We were going to take the girls to a local tea shop for a tea party but....I can't stand the idea of paying $25/person for something I know I can do just as well at home. I decided to do just that - make it at home. Why else would I have a formal dining room in my house?

We trekked over to a British import shop and picked up currant jam, clotted cream, "Lemon Cheese" (we call it lemon curd), and chocolate covered biscuits (cookies). The Love Magnet was checked out of school as it wouldn't do to have a proper Afternoon Tea without her. At home my auntie made cucumber-mint sandwiches while I made cream scones and heated water. We mixed a bunch of herbal teas (peach/raspberry/mango) and served it with honey and fat-free half-n-half. Auntie brought over her tea cups (I didn't have any) and I set the table with my wedding china and cream colored linens.

A new tradition was born! All the girls had a great time (and asked if we could do it again the next time they came). They brought their own fancy hats and provided one for me. We found a bright red straw hat in The Love Magnet's dress-up box for Auntie. (Yes, we took pictures. You'll have to wait for Sis-In-Love to email them to me. Trust me - they are cute.)

Things I would do differently: make my own lemon curd and hunt down more authentic recipes so I could make things in advance. I served a tinned golden syrup cake from the import store that was tasty - it must taste fantastic when its homemade. I will also be checking TJ Maxx for British comestibles as it would be cheaper than the local import store. I'll have to start collecting tea cups (I adore mismatched sets) and hunt for proper tea things. I might have to start a collection of fancy hats and gloves, too. After all, we must be proper in these things.

Here's my gratitude for Brother #4 and his darling family as well as gratitude for new traditions. I'll have to come up with a guy tradition so the boys do not feel left out.

Sunday Gratitudes

1. Today was Stake Conference - not to be confused with General Conference. For those who are confused, a Stake is made up of a bunch of wards (congregations) of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Its run pretty much the same way as General Conference. The Stake Leaders speak along with a few others about a general theme. Today was all about Strengthening the Family. There is also a Stake Choir that sings (of course I was a part of that). Our stake is so big that we had to have two sessions. I enjoyed being able to listen to the different speakers from both sessions and also singing the choir songs and the congregational hymns. I'm grateful for the instruction given and the peacefulness that I felt during the conference. It fueled me for another week.

2. We've moved our Family Nights to Sunday to accommodate Firstborn's schedule (he has swim practice on all weeknights). Tonight we watched movie together and made sopapillas for dessert (at the request of Firstborn) while Secondborn made Orange Julius from a recipe he learned in his Family Science class. It was a fun night and a good way to end our Sabbath.

3. As it was my birthday last Tuesday, and I happen to share that birthday, I want to share my gratitude for the most wonderful twin sis. I will admit that we fought as teens over clothes, space in a shared room, and only one boy (neither of us married him so its all forgotten). But she was, is, and ever will be my best friend. She was the first one to tell me I had to marry Mr. Wonderful ( I knew that! Someone needed to tell him that!) She is my cheerleader. I am President of her fan club. Heavenly Father knew we would need each other. We must have been best friends in heaven.

4. I'm grateful that Thirdborn earned 100% on his spelling test! His teacher gave him a modified list last week and he nailed it. As soon as the school bell rang, he ran to the car and slapped his test on the window so I could see the score before he opened the door. The first thing he wanted to know was "When can we celebrate?", which means "Can we get a shake at Arctic Circle tonight?" Mr. Wonderful took the three younger kids to AC while I had a bit of quiet time. Thirdborn is excited for school this week and is already talking about the next test.

5. I'm grateful that Secondborn was put on another soccer team. I know that I was apprehensive about this. But this team he is on did not have anyone who liked to play his position and welcomed him with open arms. Secondborn is happy. We're still a bit miffed that the league didn't place him sooner as he has missed three games. But he played one yesterday and has at least one more next week.

6. I'm grateful that Firstborn has (finally) started calling around to make a decision on his Eagle Project so he can get it approved. Its past time to get that ball rolling.

7. I'm grateful that my brother called to arrange a time to come visit this week. I can;t wait to show our guests around our town. Well, actually they are going to have to do the self guided tour while I am at school. At least I'll have most of Friday and half of Saturday to play with them before they head back.

8. I had my AP Lecture exam on Thursday and I felt great about it! There were a few questions I was not sure on and based my answers on the Latin breakdown of the vocabulary. When I checked my text book after the exam I found that I got it it right. I'm eager to see my score. As I turned in my test, I thanked my prof. for helping me out with the organic chemistry and told her how much better I felt about this exam. The studying paid off.

9. I'm also grateful for my Art class. I have had fun trying to draw and I did better than I ever thought I could. Print making is coming up, which I am looking forward to. I spoke with my art prof. after class on Thursday. It turns out that she has a soft spot in her heart for Speech Language Pathologists as they have needed them with her boys. I hope I can get to know her better.

10. My parents are on their last twelve days of their mission. I'm so grateful for the time they have spent there. Check out their blog for the latest stories as well as the blogs of some of the other DR Congo missionaries. Links are to the right.

The Missing Moral Compass

Yesterday in Psych class, this moral dilemma was posed to the class:

"You see a $100 bill lying on the ground in the school parking lot. A car had just left that space but you did not see the driver drop it. You do not know to whom this money belongs. What would you do?"

One guy said he would use it for gas money. Another said that he would use it for gaming. Lots of suggestions were shouted out with their reasoning. "It's a blessing from God." "I need it more." "Finders keepers."

Not one person said they would try to locate the owner or at least take it to the Student Services office.

My integrity is worth more than any money. I knew without question what I would do. But I didn't speak out. I was afraid that the professor would try to psychoanalyze me and I didn't want the debate. It seemed as if I was the only one in the room who saw this in black and white.

Even my professor said he would keep the money. He often presents his lectures as if he were doing stand up comedy so I wasn't sure if this comment was serious.

The lecture went on. One guy told of his mom trying to support her family on a waitressing paycheck. She would skim the till whenever she got the chance and told him that the restaurant would never miss it - besides they needed it more. When the professor asked if that made it right, the guy answered "Absolutely. It kept us from starving." Others also talked about lack of morals as if it were the norm. Have I been so out of the loop that I didn't realize that many people were like this? Were they just showing off for the class? Do people really think that there are no boundaries to accountability? Is being virtuous and honorable considered puritanical?

That night I told Mr. Wonderful what happened. I said that I wished I could go back to that moment and say what I thought. Mr. Wonderful pointed out to me that I should never fear when truth is on my side. When I berated myself for missing the moment, he commented that there would be more chances.

Unfortunately he is right. I believe my Psych class is missing their moral compass. Other subjects will come up where I will have the opportunity to speak out. I'm hoping that I am not the only one.

Bad, BAD sportsmanship

Two weeks ago during Secondborn's soccer game, there was a fight. Not between players. Not between parents. The fight was between the coaches. I didn't see the actual pushing and kicking, but I did turn around in time to see one coach chasing the other and all the dads running onto the field to break it up.

Since our soccer association has a zero violence policy, both coaches were banned from ever coaching in the league again. Because of this, the coaches two sons quit the team along with the kids whose families were close to the coach (believing that our coach was wronged.) The only kid now left on the team is Secondborn.

The league wants to move Secondborn to another team. But what kid is going to willingly give up some of his playing time so my son can play? He has no friends on this team. They have played and practiced together and are loyal to each other. Secondborn will be seen as an invader.

Today I called the league to ask for a refund. We told Secondborn that he could use the time to practice basketball until that season starts (thankfully its in another league). In the meantime, I am waiting for a call from the president of the soccer league who will most likely tell me why they won't refund our money. I understand banning the coaches and fully agree to that decision. However, it is not our fault that our son's team has dissolved. I'm really frustrated right now.

We did have a good talk with Secondborn about good sportsmanship. He actually brought up the conversation - he thought the coaches were nuts that they let their emotions get so high. "After all, Mom, its just a game. They were pretty stupid." I am so grateful that Secondborn has figured that out on his own.

Sunday Gratitudes (on a Monday)

I spent the weekend in Utah being with both sides of the family. It was fun to be with everyone. Mr. Wonderful's family got together for a formal portrait. We wore black/kahki/red color schemes. The pictures were supposed to be outside, but with the pouring rain we ended up at the office building that Mr. W's brother #2 owns. After that we went out to dinner....all 33 of us. Unbeknownst to me, dinner was a party for me. Actually, dinner was a wake for me. Because I turn the big 4-0 tomorrow. Since everyone was already in black, the Sister-in-Loves donned black veils and made me a "Happy 40th" sash to wear. The Love Magnet helped me to open my presents but I did blow out my candles all by myself. My mother-in-law thought it was all insulting and worried that I would be deeply offended. Au contraire, I felt very loved. (You love me! You really love me!)

Mr. Wonderful gave me my birthday present early.

Oh, yes, I got my Garmin! He bought me a Garmin 405. After doing some research, we discovered that the 405 still had bugs that needed to be worked out. We returned the 405 and bought the 205 (305 has a strap-on-heart monitor that I did not really want). I can't wait for my 205 to come via Amazon (along with three running books aimed at women, one of them a marathon training book).

Sunday, we watched General Conference and got together with my family for lunch. I made Creamy Chicken Chili and baked rolls. We talked about my parents coming home in less than a month and made plans. The kids ran wild with their cousins. We had a good time.

Now we're back home and back into the weekly grind. I miss my family already. so here is my Sunday Gratitude (on a Monday) for the family I was born into and the family I married into. I love you all so very much and I'm grateful that Families are Forever.

High School Words

I finally figured out where The Love Magnet learned about High School Stuff.

Sky High. Cute movie. One problem: its also the movie that taught her to break the Third Commandment. (If you don't know it, its in Exodus 20:7.)

There is more. I also figured out that the movie Antz was where she learned to say "D*mn it!" (Since my brother helped make this movie, I am going to blame him. The only reason we have it is so we can see his name in the credits and swell with pride over our brush with greatness.)

I guess I need to go through all of The Love Magnet's favorite movies to see what other High School Words she is learning. She loves to quote them all word for word as she watches them. Now I have the unenviable task of trying to teach her not to say certain things.

Happiness is....

Finding my communications book after believing that The Love Magnet took it for a bit of light reading (She has been caught reading my psych textbook while lounging in her bed waiting to be tucked in.)......and, no Mom, it wasn't under my bed. (I knew you were thinking that.)

Finally (finally!!! Oh Happy Day!) finding research that works for an upcoming communications paper.

Three whole quiet hours of uninterrupted work to find said communications textbook AND complete the research.

Happiness is not..... APA format. MLS format. Chicago style format. (Especially when you haven't done anything like this for 18 years.)

Happiness is....Mr. Wonderful telling me that I am being too hard on myself when stressing about school and not being able to keep the house in order (yet. This is a goal I'm still working on.)

Sunday Gratitudes

This is the time of year where I miss my mom the most. Last night was the General Relief Society broadcast. Think General Conference for women only. ( The men have their own broadcast on Saturday evening of Conference weekend.) Our family tradition is to go out to dinner beforehand and attend the RS broadcast together. Usually it was Mom, twin sis, and me. Sometimes we added a sis-in-love or a neighbor. But it was our time to be together. As much as I loved attending this session with my ward sisters (and the hilarious dessert-fest after, wow were we LOUD!), I still miss having that time with my mom.

This Sabbath I am grateful for:

The Relief Society Broadcast. For those of you who saw it, wasn't it fabulous?! For those of you who didn't see it, check it out here. My favorite was Elder Uchtdorf's talk, although the rest tied for a close second.

My Relief Society sisters. They have cheered on my running goals. They lifted me up during my darkest hours when we first got the go-ahead for The Love Magnet's heart surgery. These sisters (and bless their hearts, they are indeed sisters) are a force to be reckoned with. If something needs to be done, they will do it. If you don't let them know what needs to be done, they will find something.

That Secondborn is so self-motivated. I have been stressing about my other children when it comes to school. Secondborn needs no monitoring. He gets things done and aims for top grades. I try to tell him as often as possible how proud I am of him and his efforts. (He is still beating me in the grades department but I am slowly moving upwards. I'm still in the race.)

Our pediatrician. I took Thirdborn in for a physical to make sure we had a clean slate before our meeting on Monday. Ped. Dr. suggested another ped. dr. who focuses solely on testing for learning disabilities. Our ped dr. said that if Thirdborn was his child, this is what he would do. How can I argue with that? Our dr. has really been on top of things. He also recommended another cardiologist for The Love Magnet, since the local cardiologist that PCMC recommended hasn't returned our calls.

Sunday morning waffles. (I know, a tiny blip of nothing in the great plan of the universe. But Sunday morning waffles makes my family happy. I find a lot of joy in making my family happy with my cooking.) Whoops......Mr. Wonderful just reminded me that its Fast Sunday - after we ate the waffles.

Going back to school. I'm really enjoying the challenge. Yes, A&P is giving me stress, but its still fascinating. I firmly believe more and more while studying this that there is no way the human race happened by chance. There is some incredible engineering that has gone into designing our bodies. Our Heavenly Father is a genius.

Important High School Stuff

The Love Magnet: "Mom, where is my high school stuff?"

Me: "Ummmm, high school stuff?"

The Love Magnet: "Moooom, I need it! I need...my...high school stuff!"

Me: "?" (I am completely clueless here)

later...

The Love Magnet: "Mom, I find my high school stuff."

She is carrying a sparkly pink butterfly purse and my old cell phone without the battery. There is also a blue raspberry flavored lip balm in there. All the important high school stuff my 6 year old Love Magnet could possibly need.

Monsters In The Dark

I can not remember when I first became afraid of the dark as a child. I only remember it as my first fear. It must have occurred when I would see snippets of scenes on television of dark, scary houses with monsters hiding in them. I then equated the dark with monsters hiding in wait to catch me. I would constantly have nightmares about running from unseen monsters, knowing that I was just about to die.

I hated the bedtime ritual as I knew that when it was done I would be left in the dark. I felt incapacitated when my parents would turn the light of my room out at night. To rationalize this fear, my child mind created a complete set of rules about the monsters in the dark:

1. Monsters hide from adults. When adults came into the room, monsters disappeared. When I just knew that my doom was near, I would call out to my parents who would come in, turn on the light, and try to convince me that there was no such thing as monsters in my room.

2. Monsters can only come out when it is dark. Light poisons them. If I could some how turn on the light, I would be safe. Often I would insist on sleeping with my light turned on. Sometimes I would hide a flashlight under my pillow.

3. Monsters can not find me if I am hiding under the blankets. If so much as a toe stuck out from under the blanket, then the monsters would find me. I learned to sleep with blankets over my head. It was smothering and unpleasant but a necessary safety precaution.

4. The darker the space, the more monsters there are in the space. The darkest room in the house was the freezer room, a room with no windows located at the end of the hall in the darkest part of the basement. I would only go there if I turned on the light in the basements stairs, the hall light and the lights in the room across from the freezer room.

5. Monsters could only get me if I was alone. Since I am a twin, this is the rule that saved me the most. Twins are rarely alone. Where I went, my sister would follow. We kept each other safe. We shared a room so I determined that this rule only worked if she was awake. If my parents did not come to my rescue, I would wake my sister instead.

Just like Watson’s experiment with Little Albert showed that Albert’s fear grew to encompass more than the white rat, the monster culture that I invented grew with every scary movie that I viewed. Adaptations of scenes would merge with my thinking. My dreams would occur more often and be more frightening.

As I grew older these rules would weaken as I learned more about family dynamics: My parents would not always come when I called. My twin sister did not like to be woken out of a deep sleep, nor did she like to sleep with the lights on. I noticed that no one else in my family had to turn on every single light in a dark hall, nor did they seem afraid to go to the freezer room by themselves. No one was attacked or eaten by monsters.

By the time I was a teen, I knew that monsters did not exist. It did not change my attitude completely. While I was not afraid of the dark, I still did not like it. Some of my rituals stayed the same. At bedtime I would turn out the light and immediately pull the covers up to my chin (rather than completely over my head). I would close my eyes and refuse to open them. I knew this behavior was silly but the habits were entrenched in me.

These habits finally changed when I was an adult with my own children. Now I have no problem walking down a dark hall to check on my sleeping children. I don’t bother to turn on the lights. I can sleep with no covers. I still have nightmares with monsters, but they usually entail me saving my family from monsters, attacking the monsters with weapons and being angry that they would dare threaten my children.

The conditioned fear response hasn’t completely left. I hate scary movies. If I do watch one, I can’t get a restful sleep for weeks. But I can still move around in the dark. Perhaps it is my role as a parent and a protector that gives me courage.

Idiots who cheat

I am ticked.

My A&P exam was done on Blackboard (from home computer) and open book. I didn't get that great of a score but managed to score better than class average.

An unidentifiable number of students found a way to cheat by taking the test together on their laptops and sharing answers or else watching someone else take the test so they would know the questions.

Some were caught.

Now the A&P prof has declared that test null. Instead that test will be divided into four parts and a part added onto each of the remaining four tests. Instead of open book tests, the tests will be given in the classroom with no books/notes allowed.

I'm not the only one who's livid. When the prof announced this in class tonight, the people around me were wanting to find out the names of those who had been caught so we could surround them in the parking lot. I am not sure if the cheaters were kicked out of class. or better yet, kicked out of school. I hope so.

I am willing to bet that the remaining cheating idiots (who were not caught) feel no remorse. Thanks, people. You made things more difficult for the rest of us.

Sunday Gratitudes (on a Monday)

Its seems that despite my study of the wrong text.....I aced my Psych test. Overflowing gratitude here (and a big Snoopy happy dance). I also received an A on my first Psych paper. While my A&P test is not an A, I am still above the class average. Too bad its not graded on the curve.

Gratitude for every aching muscle in my legs. (They were so sore on Sunday that I am sure I was a funny sight trying to hobble up and down the stairs of the stand so I could sit by my family during the talks and special musical number of Sacrament meeting.) Those aches mean I have muscles that work. Those aches mean that I can improve. Those muscles mean I am still so proud that I ran the entire hill! (Truly, I will quit patting myself on the back tomorrow. Maybe.)

While we're at it, I'm grateful for all of you who cheered my 5K with me through blog comments, emails, shoutouts and phone calls. It meant the world to me that you were excited, too.

I'm grateful for my running partners. The 5K was not the end. We are meeting tonight.

Mr. Wonderful took me out for a nice dinner date at what is now my new fave restaurant. Quiet. Classy. Awesome food. (Hey twin sis, we have a new place to visit when next you come.) I wasn't hungry all day after the race. That changed pretty quick when the waiter brought out appetizers. We shared the night with my Uncle and Auntie who live here. Good company to match the good food.

Today I took Thirdborn and The Love Magnet to the hospital for blood work. The Love Magnet never cries over blood work. She took it without a peep and was excited to dig through the prize basket afterwards. Thirdborn (surprisingly) didn't cry either. He is getting so grown up about things like this. His blood work was precursor to a physical this week to make sure he's healthy before we start with the big meeting next week about his struggles in school. I'm grateful that we have the facilities and the insurance to do this.

On Sunday, Thirborn had been asked to read a scripture and say the prayer at the end of Primary. We found a simple scripture and had him memorize it. Thirdborn still insisted on carrying his scriptures up to the podium to read from it before he said the closing prayer. I had been worried given the problems he has been having at school. He did this assignment just fine. He really needed that boost to his confidence. I am so grateful that it went well.

I'm grateful that Firstborn had a good swim practice week. It looks like he will be able to swim his specialty at his next meet after all.

RACE DAY

"The miracle isn't that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start."
- John "The Penguin" Bingham

Rain. POURING RAIN. As in "climb aboard Noah's ark" rain. We were soaked over an hour before race started. Last night the weather guy said the low temp would be 61. Nope. More like 45 degrees. There I stood in my usual running shorts and top, really wishing I had warmer gear or at least a hat or poncho. Some women were carrying umbrellas. Every time the lightning would strike and the thunder rolled the women would cheer. Some guy proposed to his girlfriend before the race started. More cheering. If we weren't so cold it would have been a wild party.

Did I mention that they were expecting 16,000 women at this event? Picture 16,000 women dancing to "Let's Get Loud" and "We Are Family" - not just to psych us up, but to keep warm while waiting to start.

I was completely soaked before my wave started. Running in squishy shoes is different. I made it up the hill with no problem. I did walk for 20 seconds after that and then 20 seconds again before the big down hill on the final mile.

Time: 36:04

Not the 35:00 I was aiming for. But I can't complain about the time. I did my best. Now I have a baseline time to beat next year.

Oh, yeah, I am doing this again. I called K (who is at Disney World right now) to let her know my time. She left a little gift for me to wear during the race - a little pewter running pendant. I told her that it would be my good luck charm for all my races. K told me of a 1/2 marathon she is running in October. She said they also have a 5K.

Sign me up.

I am officially a runner.

Raising Love for Nie

You 'd have to be hiding under a blogging rock if you haven't heard of Nie.

Navel Gazing is putting together a book about funny blogging entries. She wants you. Literally. Send her your funny blogs, shamelessly promote her blog book. All proceeds will benefit Nie and her recovery. Check it out here.

I sent in a few. They might only be funny to me. We shall see.

When was the last time you set a goal? I triple-dog-dare you to make one right now....

A real honest to goodness goal. The kind that takes a while and a lot of sacrifice.

A few months ago I would have said that the last time I set a goal was .........a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. Back when I was a young woman working on my Personal Progress (do they even do that anymore in YW? I've been in Primary and Music callings for so long that I would not know.)

Tomorrow is the end of a goal I set back in June. Thirteen weeks worth of work. I started out as a couch potato, running 2 minutes and walking 2 minutes and wondering how I would survive. Now I am a runner who can run a 5K in 35 minutes. Which is a good thing because tomorrow I have to run a 5K in 35 minutes or less.

I've lost 3 pant sizes and 1 shirt size. I've lost 5 lbs (which doesn't make sense to me either, but hey, I look better). I now look forward to exercise - never saw that one coming! I feel so much better about myself. I've made some really good girlfriends. My confidence has grown.

I'm appreciating this goal-making much more than I ever did as a YW. I'm thinking the RS should start a program of writing down goals. I'll get through my race tomorrow and return and report. Then I will spend some of my Sabbath making new goals.

Do you have goals?

Please Excuse My Pity Party For The Next Ten Minutes

Today's Anatomy & Physiology test wasn't pretty. I knew the organic chemistry would be hard but I also struggled with the lecture I missed about organic molecules, monosaccharides, disaccharides, polysaccharides, triglycerides, fatty acids...... (sigh).

When I took the first level of anatomy (at a different school) I aced the class. This A&P lecture class is a real big kick in my ego. Yet again I have a high appreciation for my mom (the nurse), my brother-in-love who is finishing his residency right now, and anyone else who had to take uber-high levels of medical classes (and would find my A&P class a piece of cake right now.) Mr. Wonderful would find this class a piece of cake and (I think) is a bit jealous of my opportunity. He has been out of town and unable to tutor me. No more out of town for Mr. Wonderful when I have exams coming. I won't let him leave.

Obviously I am going to have to come up with a better plan for study. As it is right now, Secondborn will be winning the "Choose The Family Vacay" contest with his straight A's unless I get it in gear. My only consolation is that my A&P prof will be deleting the worst test off of my final grade. That means I have a second chance. That means I will be attending every single tutorial available. That means I am actually considering whether or not to get a Franklin Planner of sorts to really schedule out my time. I am a free spirit with poor organizational skills - at least when it comes to.....well.....nearly everything.

I feel good about my Lab test coming up as well as Art. My next Pych exam will go much better now that I am literally on the same page with the rest of the class. There is a writing lab on campus where (I've just found out) I can email my upcoming Comm and Psych papers for review and suggestions.

In the meantime, my head really hurts. My ego hurts. For some reason my hip socket hurts, too. I missed my final training run last night because of it. I sure hope its better before Saturday. I would be so disappointed if, after 13 weeks of training for this goal, I can't run.

Grumpy Girl is going to take a break for a bit before I work on my Psych paper about fear. And put together a lasagna for dinner. And fold the last load of laundry. And scrub the tub.

I think I deserve a foot rub tonight.

Mormons Going Veggie

I've been invited to be a contributor at Mormons Going Veggie (see it here or click on the link on the right). No, I am not going completely vegetarian (my kids my try to take over the cooking duties if I did that.....wait....that might be a good thing). I do cook vegetarian 2-3 times a week. I like the ideas posted on this new blog. Its been fun to go onto the other contributors blogs to learn about them.

Check it out. Try the recipes. Leave a comment.

Running update:

Final countdown to the 5K this Saturday. Tonight's run wasn't timed but I feel that we ran at a good clip. Still stopped at the end of each mile to walk one minute, although I felt that I could have kept running. It was gorgeous tonight and I felt great. The walking is definitely a mental thing. I need to get over that. If Mr. Wonderful can make it to the 5K, I will have him take pictures. I have heard through the family grapevine that my daddy can not wrap his head around the idea of my running. (I know, Daddy. Shocks me, too. I no longer grand jete down the street........I really run.)

I realized tonight that I need to make another goal after this 5K is over. I don't want to waste the effort it took to come this far. I'll have to aim for a 10K in the spring. There are more 5Ks to run this fall, too. I am definitely loving this cooler weather.

I'd like to start swimming, too. Why not? After all Mr. Wonderful is the mild-mannered alter-ego of Aquaman. Not sure where to find the time to swim........

Sunday Gratitudes

Just when I think that Life can not get crazier, it laughs at me and goes wild. What I am grateful for this week:

Sunday is a day of rest (and that my parents were really adamant during my upbringing about what was okay and what was not okay in keeping the Sabbath holy). I kept supper prep simple (supper bombed today - it turns out that we are not cube steak people. No on likes the texture. At least there were garden veggies, potatoes and gravy, and corn-on-the-cob. Dear Doggie Girl got the meat - and was thrilled. Won't be buying that stuff again). It was nice to be back in church after two weeks off.

I also got to sub in The Love Magnet's primary class today. It was eye opening. There were some comments about Lauren by the other kids that were surprising (and a bit hurtful to me). I asked them to repeat what they said......they weren't willing to once they realized that I heard. I explained to the kids that my daughter needs extra time to learn things and that it would be a really great help if they would all be examples for her. I'm grateful that I could handle it in what I hope was a positive way. I'll be attending next week to see how things go.

Nice neighbors. My next door neighbor has a daughter in New Zealand. She sent him various seeds from NZ to try in her garden. Dear Next Door Neighbor knows that Mr. Wonderful's family is from NZ so DNDN delights in bringing us the NZ veggies. (Today we ate a New Zealand cucumber with our dinner.) They keep an eye out for our house when we are out of town. Mrs. DNDN brings treats for the kids. They include us in their prayers and we include them in ours. They are good people.

Thirdborn's school teacher. This woman is really on top of things. I've asked her to call a meeting so we could meet the entire team and make decisions concerning Thirdborn for the school year. He has started to be teased (mildly, I don't think there is really malicious intent here) by class mates about his reading skills. Mild or not, it is affecting my son. Teacher and I have swapped emails to keep up to date with each other. Mr. Wonderful and I are worried about our son. We're not sure where things are going, but we are thrilled and relieved to have Thirdborn's teacher on our side.

That The Love Magnet is doing well in school. Mr. Occupational Therapist mentioned this past week how much of a difference in her work that he could see which had to be a result of the heart surgery. We can't explain it, but she is doing so much better at everything. Except for the occasional bad words, she seems to being doing well. She loves gym class, music, library, and computers. She loves-loves-LOVES her teacher and her aides. Everyone has really worked hard to make these first few weeks of full-day school successful.

That Mr. Wonderful is a great A&P tutor. He will be a great math tutor (I've got to take that placement test soon and I dread it.) He has also been a great sounding board. I've really got to stop taking advantage of him like that.)

The weather has been good for running. This is my finally training week. Only two more runs and then a rest before the big race this weekend. I can't believe I am doing this.

Firstborn had his first swim meet of the year. Unfortunately, I didn't get to see it between going to school and heading to Parent Night at Secondborn's school. But he did fairly well. This past week he saw the backstroke and beat everyone on his team. I am now hoping that his coach will stick him on backstroke and really let him shine. (He was so proud of the fact that he finished that far ahead of the rest of his team in practice.)

That Secondborn's teachers all love him. He is doing so well in school. He really loves math and science and is looking forward to World Civilizations. I told him I wanted to study that with him. His teachers were all impressive to me. I thought their curriculum was fascinating. One teacher hunts petroglyphs during her summer breaks. I wonder how she will include that in her teaching this year.

My parents have a date to come home from their mission!!!! They will be spending a week in France (they certainly deserve that) before coming home. I wont' be able to see them until the following weekend. If the weather is bad, I might have to wait until Thanksgiving to see them. I hope the weather cooperates. I am missing my mom and daddy. Check out their blog for the latest.

I went to the Bookstore to return my text. They weren't quite sure what to do with me - my Prof had not called yet.

The guy helping me was gone a long time to talk to his supervisor. She came out to ask questions. No, I did not have the receipt (I wasn't planning on returning the book.) No, I didn't know the name of the guy who helped me the first time. I could give a description, if they wanted it. As I ran through the features of not-so-helpful-after-all Bookstore guy, recognition appeared on their faces. They knew exactly who I was talking about. And they were not happy.

Either somebody was playing a really poor joke on his last day working, or he is going to be fired this weekend. I'm not sure. Whatever they were thinking, I have a feeling that this guy has been/is/will be fired.

Now I have a new Psych book. No grade on the test yet. I'll see what happens and then talk to my Psych Prof. In the meantime, I have a lot of A&P to review: bonding- types and their importance, Ph scales and body fluids and how its all derived, Macromolecules and everything about them, Organelles and their functions, Plasma membranes, osmosis and tonicity, and all the vocabulary. Yup. Brain mush.

ARRRRGGGGHHHH!

I REALLY need a punching bag. I was wondering why I was struggling so much in Psych class. Today was our first exam and it wasn't pretty. Turns out that the university book store GAVE ME THE WRONG BOOK! When I approached the prof. after I finished the exam to determine that I had the wrong book, he told me that the bookstore has done that to other students in his class (I make student #5, which makes me feel less stupid than if I were the lone stupid student). He will be calling the bookstore to demand that they refund my money in full and get me the right book. I don't know if I will be allowed to retake the test. I will be emailing him next to see what my options are. No wonder the reading was going so slow and didn't seem to follow his lectures directly. If it were my mistake, I would just bite the bullet and go on, but the bookstore did pick it out for me (they said they were making sure I had the right book, as there was some confusion about which book went with which class).

I did not need this stress today.

My Brain Is Mush

As I have tried to balance homework and study with housework, soccer practices and games, church callings, kids homework, training for my 5K (one week from Saturday!) and the Grand Central Station busyness of my phone ringing: I am feeling overwhelmed.

I had a Psych paper due last Tuesday and my first Psych exam today. Tons of study planned for this weekend for a Anatomy & Physiology Lecture exam next week followed by another Psych paper, A&P lab exam, and my first Art exam the following week.

I have been on my knees a lot the past week, asking for help to remember what I study (especially A&P), and for the ability to do everything I need to.

Things aren't getting done around the house as I am still learning how to juggle. Mr. Wonderful has been awfully patient. Last night, after listening to me vent about everything, he reminded me that things would not get easier, but that my ability to handle things would increase. I sure hope that happens soon.

In the meantime, my brain is mush. I feel like I am not retaining much. Tomorrow I will be attending the A&P tutorial available at school. Mr. Wonderful has offered to help me study this weekend. We have a datenight planned to hopefully help the two of us de-stress. We also have soccer games, 5K training, housework to catch up, swim training, .....I'm sure something else will pop up. The Love Magnet has been begging for dance or gymnastic classes. I have no idea when I can fit that in, too. She needs something.

I am looking forward more and more to keeping the Sabbath holy. I really need that day of rest.
(Okay, truly I will get off this pity party. I know there are other moms out there much more busy than I am. I know there are moms that have many more challenges that I do. Sunday will be a good day to really count my blessings.)

One blessing I just have to count right now: two days ago my trainer Kaidree and my running partner Kerry sent me flowers to let me know that they were thinking of me. I loved the flowers. I really loved the note. Every time I look at the flowers and note I feel lighter.

Running update:

After four weeks of running 2X or less per week, I am determined to get back on a schedule. Tonight's run was 3.11 miles. Mile #2 was hard - really tired ankles. I didn't beat my PR of 10:23/mile (Is that right, K? - K keeps all my stats.) But I did do 10:40/mile (or so) on mile #1 and #3. I think mile #2 was in the 12's.

But all said and done, it felt good to get out and clear my head after working on my first Psych paper.

My first 5K is in two weeks.

and in case you were wondering, my Psych paper assignment was this:

Considering what is known about the damaging effects on of poor nutrition, drugs, cigarettes, and alcohol on the fetus, what can be done to protect a baby from the effects of its mother’s activities? Should any legal action be taken?

Polite princess manners make even the worst social faux pas excusable

As I am finishing up my blog and checking others, I hear The Love Magnet behind me. She runs to the top of the stairs and right as she gets there I hear a very loud bass-sounding "BWWAAAAAAP" that reverberates in the two story space of my family room. then I hear a giggle and in a very polite, princessy voice:

"Oh, my. Excuse me." (to no one in particular)

The Love Magnet may burp better than my teenage Firstborn but at least she has princess manners. Even if she thinks no one is listening.

Sunday Gratitudes

This weekend and last were so tender and sweet. My heart feels too big for my ribcage right now, with all the love I feel for my family. This week I am grateful for:

1. My twin sis and sis-in-love making my Primary song into keepsakes for Grandma's funeral. And for all the encouragement to send it into the Friend. Maybe I should...

2. Spending time talking with my sibs and their spouses. I am so grateful for each one of them. We went out to dinner on Friday night. Finally had to leave the restaurant as they wanted to close. Ended up talking for another hour outside of the restaurant. Good people. Good times.

3. Time spent with my in-loves. We had a steak BBQ for Dad-in-loves' birthday. Simple food. Fresh garden tomatoes. My Mom-in-love got online with her fabulous family history skills and printed out census records that mentioned my Grandma and her family. She put everything in a binder for me.

4. Uneventful trip home. No problems.

5. For a good friend willing to take over my Sunday chorister job for me while I was gone. God bless her, she volunteered without me asking her.

6. For my uncle who so graciously put up with all of my questions before, during, and after the funeral. Not once has he lost patience with me. I pray he is blessed with everything good. He deserves it.

7. Teachers and aides who have worked so well with The Love Magnet and Thirdborn this week. The Love Magnet is thriving with her aides working with her and a wonderful teacher who not only loves her, but is so eager to include skills she has (ASL) in regular classroom teaching. I am so eager to see how this ASL combined phonics (not sure how to explain it yet, I'm sure I just did it poorly) works for the entire classroom. I'm thrilled to find out that the entire first grade will be doing it. Thirdborn's teacher is already an absolute gem. She isn't waiting for test results that could take until Christmas. She is starting full swing right now to help Thirdborn with his reading and spelling.

8. Coming home to my own kitchen. There is something comforting to me in getting back to routine after being away for awhile. I am tired of traveling. Within 10 minutes of getting home I made up a recipe I'm calling Malted Chip Crispie Cookies. Good with milk. Mmmm.

9. The start of fall. My favorite time of year. I actually saw a tree with leaves changing as we entered our hometown. Pretty soon temperatures will be cool enough for cute sweaters and boots and yummy fall flavors. I might even make some curried pumpkin soup this week.

10. Mr.Wonderful for picking up so much of the slack this week while I was with my family. You are truly the best decision I ever made, my Mr. Darcy.

Lessons from Grandma -

She's not done teaching yet.

Grandma's funeral was held today. I hope she laughed at the stories. I hope she enjoyed the speeches. (No offense to my uncles, but my mom's talk - read by my beloved twin sister - was the best. I'm not biased.....)

One thing that really stuck out to me. One thing that I never knew. One thing that I have never heard from ANYONE else before. Grandma had held many callings in church. Young Women's leader. Relief Society President. I'm sure she also had some teaching positions and surely something in Primary. But guess just which calling was her favorite?

Visiting Teaching.

I kid you not. Not only did she absolutely love Visiting Teaching, she requested that the inactive sisters be put on her route. She said that they needed her more than anyone else did. I remember her telling me many times about doing her visits on the front porch because the women never invited her in. After months of porch visits, they would feel comfortable around her enough to invite her in. She would always be thrilled.

Grandma nearly always took a treat when she visited. I'm sure her famous raspberry jam (at least famous to her family and neighbors) and homemade breads and cookies made it into many homes in her ward. As a child, I would watch her put aside a plate of cookies or a loaf of bread wrapped in a kitchen towel, and tell us kids not to touch it. It was for her visiting teaching sisters.

She faithfully visited every month. My Grandma, who is as busy as everyone else, always found time to check on her "Sisters" and make sure everything was all right. If they needed her help, she would be there, ready for anything. According to my mom, she would take a meal over to an expecting mom. Grandma said that many people brought meals after the baby was born, but it was before the birth when the mom-to-be needed extra attention. She would clean or fold laundry. If Grandma saw a need, she saw herself as the one to fill it.

Grandma is still influencing me, even though she isn't here. All right, Grandma. Message heard loud and clear. My visiting teaching habits have been good, but they certainly can be better. They are definitely not up to your standards yet.

My darling Grandma

I copied this off of Kimberly's blog. I am not sure but I think it was taken on or just before Grandma started dating Grandpa. Doesn't she have a sweet face?

Sunday Gratitudes on a Tuesday

On Saturday my twin sis called me. Grandma had fallen a few days before and had deteriorated rapidly. Within an hour I had my suitcase packed and was headed to the airport.


Sis picked me up and gave me details. It had been decided that Grandma would be taken to my brother and sis-in-loves home where she could be surrounded by love for her last days on earth. We arrived at St. Joe's where Grandma was currently being cared for until she could be transferred. She was awake, incoherent, and in pain from cellulitis. My uncle and cousin gave Grandma a beautiful priesthood blessing, telling her that the her life was well lived and her transition would be peaceful.


We drove to Mark's house to see what we could do to help prepare. His house was ready, so we headed to my parent's house next door. While Mom and Daddy are on their mission, Nate had been house-sitting. Most of my family was there, preparing it for any visitors who might need a place to stay. We cleaned until late at night. Christie and I went out for dinner before we headed to her house.


I couldn't sleep that night. My mind wouldn't shut down. I thought of so many good times I've had with my grandma.


The next morning we headed over to my Mark's house to wait for hospice to deliver the hospital bed. The bed was late and arrived at the same time as the ambulance did with my grandma. The EMTs were so kind. They waited while the bed was set up and very carefully brought Grandma in the house. Later the first hospice nurse came by with morphine to make Grandma comfortable. I hovered, listening with twin-sis and sis-in-love as instructions were given on what to expect. It took a while for the medicine to kick in. Grandma opened her eyes a few times. Once in a while it seemed that she knew what was going on. I asked Nate to get his guitar to play for Grandma. She opened her eyes and said clearly "Yes." The remainder of the time she was not able to communicate but held up her hand which we would hold. Christie and I sat by her most of the evening, each of us holding a hand.


Christie, Mark, Kimberly, Nathan and I sat up late that night in Grandma's room, talking and laughing about the good times. One of the funniest was that each of us had a story about how we found Grandma's secret stash of candy - we each thought we were the only one who knew where it was. We also talked about sliding down the cutting board when Grandma put it next to the fireplace (she had a piece of counter board left over from when she cut the space out for her kitchen sink that she used for a gigantic cutting board. It made a perfect slide for little kids). How much we all hated shucking corn and we thought it wasn't fair that Christie didn't have to do it. (Christie had horrible allergies. What we didn't know is that she was made to work inside the house shelling peas or getting the kitchen ready to process the produce). At one point I leaned over to Grandma and said "Grandma, when you see Grandpa, you run. You run, do you understand?" Christie leaned over on the other side of Grandma and said "Make she she understands that she is supposed to run TO Grandpa and not AWAY." We started laughing so hard. And then Nathan pointed out that Grandpa might be riding Joe (his beloved horse) when he comes. There were a lot of good memories. Yucky rolls (truly delicious Sunday rolls but the family joke was to call them Yucky). Three kinds of homemade pickles in the cut glass pickle dish at every Sunday dinner and holiday. Homemade ice cream (we all had to list our favorites). Being sent out to pick beans for dinner. Popcorn balls at Halloween. (I made sure that my kids, Mr. W, and I were the last family to come every Halloween so I could get all the extra popcorn balls. I would give each of the kids one and save the rest for myself. I would break them up in a bowl and pour milk over them and eat it like cereal for breakfast.) We though that Grandma might leave us that night so I stayed up along with Nate all night. Grandma's breathing followed the pattern that hospice told us would be the end. But then before sunrise her breathing went back to just being shallow. Nate went back next door to sleep. I stayed up to help Kimberly.

That morning, hospice aides came to check on things. We were told that Grandma would most likely pass in the next 24 hours. The day was filled with visitors, violin music from Tiffany, guitar music from Nate, and my parents calling on SKYPE so they could talk to us. It was the first time in a long time for them to see Grandma. My heart broke for them, but I knew that they had to remain in Africa. We were all at peace with that decision. (for my mom's account of what happened, see her DR Congo blog).


My flight left that evening and I had to go. I was in tears, selfish tears as I knew that it would be so wonderful for Grandma to see Grandpa again. I hugged all of my sibs and my uncle. I didn't want to leave - I wanted to do my part in helping. I cried all the way to the airport. Again selfish tears.


I was so exhausted when I arrived home. Mr. Wonderful and I sat the kids down and told them about Grandma. We shared happy memories (playing with Grandma on her swing, eating her cookies, having lunch at her house, picking raspberries) and a few tears. I ate a quick meal and went to bed at 8:00. I slept deep and woke 10 hours later. There was a message on my answering machine from my sister that Grandma passed in the night. My brother Nate was with her at that time and, miracle of miracles, my Mom was on the SKYPE. She was on the other side of the world and still able to be with her mom during those last tender, peaceful moments.

So my Sunday gratitudes are posted on a Tuesday. I am so grateful for my knowledge of where my Grandma is right now. I'm grateful that I will see her again. I am grateful for all of my family who surrounded her with love in her last days. I'm grateful for Mr. Wonderful, who insisted I fly out there immediately, and took care of things at home. I'm grateful for the hospice workers who all showed such kindness to my grandma and my family. Most of all I am grateful for Grandma. The woman who taught me all about whole foods and nutrition by her example. She passed down her knowledge about gardening and canning through my mom to me. She served others with every waking moment.


Selfish tears. Because I' am going to miss her so much.