Birthday Beach Party....as beachy as it gets in Idaho

Pinks, greens, and yellows. Flower leis from the party store. Bonne Bell Lip Smackers (remember those?) Cool bracelets metallic bracelets and funky rings. All the important high school stuff in a convenient party favor bag. We are ready for guests.

Banana Cupcakes with coconut cream cheese frosting. Kahlua pork over rice. Grapes and strawberries and bananas dipped in Danish dessert sauce. We are ready for guests.

One little girl just dying to have her friends sing Happy Birthday. Oh are we ready for guests!

We made rag-tied flip flops (thanks to Auntie Kimberly for explaining the how-to's).

We had fun in the pool.

We started the latest uber-cool birthday party trend - hiring our very own lifeguard! (Firstborn was either very serious.....or very bored.)

9 guests invited. 3 guests came (everyone else was going out of town - that happens at summertime birthdays). 3 guests were all we needed for a fabulous birthday party.

Check it out. Girls hanging out and talking girl stuff. Typical girl stuff.

(I had to zoom in on this one because The Love Magnet didn't want her mom to cramp her style.) This picture made all that planning and worry worth it. Soooooo worth it.

Ego boost

this morning as The Love Magnet and I are brushing our teeth, she rinses and spits and then turns to me with a toothpaste grin and says:

"Mom, you are one red-hot supermodel mama!"

Where does this come from? Does she even knows what it means? I don't care. I needed that ego boost today.

Birthday invites going out....

Half of the bday invites went out today. The rest weren't home so we'll try to catch them either tonight or tomorrow. The Love Magnet had a great time going up to each door ("By myself, Mom. You stay in da car.") and hand delivering each invitation.

Firstborn has been hired as lifeguard for our beach party. He might be persuaded to MC some fun water games. Maybe.

Food will be kahlua pork over rice (not authentic, but I don't think 8 yr olds will care), fruit kabobs with dip, pineapple juice, and cupcakes. The Love Magnet loves rice. She loves fruit. She loves cupcakes when they have birthday candles in them.

I'll stop at the party store for leis and beach party favors. Perhaps I'll pick up balloons to tie on everyone's towell with a gator clip. We'll throw in some flavored Chapstick. The Love Magnet thinks that all beauty routines must start and end with flavored, tinted Chapstick. She keeps two in her high school stuff everywhere she goes.

Party planning quandary

The Love Magnet wants a birthday party. She has the party planned down to every single detail she has learned verbatim from Signing Time's Happy Birthday video. When she describes her party, she even uses the signs she learned from watching Rachel, Leah, and Alex.

Too bad they aren't available to be guests.

I promised my daughter that tomorrow we would sit down and plan the party, print the invitations, and deliver them the next day. But there is a frustrating problem. When I ask her who she would like to invite to her party, she lists all the adults in her life. No kids.

I haven't sought out the Down syndrome community since we moved here so she has no friends from there. I've been too busy with school. She has not been asked to playdates. I haven't set up playdates here because she hasn't really asked for them. Now I'm regretting my inaction when it comes to the social skills of the Love Magnet. Mom-guilt strikes hard late at night when my kids are asleep and I have time to think.

Do I invite her Primary class? I did that last year and the girls had fun at the tea party. Should I try to track down kids from her school class? I don't know most of them, let alone their addresses. This year, The Love Magnet wants a swim party. Will the guests interact with her or just with each other?

The gap between my daughter and her peers seems to grow wider as they get older. If I don't do something soon, the chasm might be too wide to cross. (Okay, I admit that sounds rather drama-queen of me, but it is an honest worry. ) If cousins lived close, I would have a houseful and then some, but that still defeats the purpose.

I'll probably be up all night with this. My daughter is counting on me to come through.

8 great things about The Love Magnet

Today is The Love Magnet's birthday. Here are 8 great things about her:

1. You know exactly where you stand with her. She loves you. You can't ever question that because she reminds you every single day. She loves her family, her teachers, her friends, the bus driver, the crossing guard, the guy who checks out our groceries at the store, the girl who cuts her hair......

2. She is incredibly brave. She shakes off the stings and hurts of bumps, bruises, and cuts pretty quickly. All she needs is a hug and she'll get over it. If you forget to give her a hug, she will head you off at the pass. She knows hugs are important.

3. She will never be too old to kiss her mom and daddy goodbye or good night.

4. She is one smart cookie. She loves to read, count, and she knows more about how to get around on the Wii game then her mom does.

5. The Love Magnet loves to cook. now if we could just convince her to cook when Mom is around instead of when Mom is not there. Mom is finding all sorts of kitchen chemistry experiments in the oddest places: full pots that have been put back in the cupboard, bowls of strange goo taken upstairs, chocolate mixed with tellicherry peppercorns and yogurt in mixing bowls on the counter. To her credit she is learning that recipes are created for a reason. "I'll get the cookbook, Mom!"

6. She prays to Heavenly Father as if she is talking to him. She tells Him to have a good day. She tells Him that she loves her teachers and friends and family. She lists all of her gratitudes (and that list is very long). If she remembers, she will ask for blessings. That doesn't happen often as she usually just checks in with Him and tells him about her day. The blessings that she never forgets to ask for: "Please bwess GammaPapa Africa on a mission dat dey will be safe".

7. The Love Magnet loves babies. She loves holding them and tries so hard to be gentle.

8. She loves to watch other succeed. Whether it is cheering Firstborn in swimming or Secondborn in basketball, telling Thirdborn he did a great job on his artwork, or cheering on competitors in Wii, she will be thrilled no matter who wins.

I posted this on my Facebook page last night:

I want to be an archeologist, an anthropologist, an astronomer, a geneticist, a professor, a travel show host, psychologist, chef..........

There are simply not enough hours to accomplish it all. At least I have only 3 more years till I can claim at least one academic goal.

This is the incredible response I got this morning:

Carrie, you are all those things and more, you are a mother. Maybe you don't have the "degree" in those things but mothers handle a little of everything. they dig things out of the back of closets and under beds and try to figure out how they got there and what the "little people" were doing with them in the first place. They look at the stars and point out constellations to their children. They certainly do lots of teaching. You host travel shows every time you go on vacation (or to the supermarket for that matter). Psychologist is a must when dealing with children. Chef you do every day....now of you could just get paid, oh, wait you do, with hugs, and loves and sometimes incredible pay days when you see them doing wonderful things with their lives. So pat yourself on the back and examine the hats you are wearing today.

This sweet note came from an incredibly wise woman, one of the few whom i can truly say has helped shape my life. Bonnie lives in my Utah ward I moved from 4 years ago. She is a caregiver to her sweet husband, famous grandma who constantly has grandchildren over, and she is one of the most spiritual and gratitude-counting people I know.

Much thanks and many hugs, Bonnie. You always had a way to help me keep my head on straight and help me to see the blessings that surround me.

Pay It Forward has arrived

I got a package! Woot! The Love Magnet loves packages and insists on opening it for me.

So what is in the package? And who sent it?
A purple honey bear? Oh, a Huckleberry honey bear from Logan, Utah! That is just begging for a hot biscuit or homemade whole wheat bread. Mmmmmmmm.
But who sent it? Who do I know in Logan?


Old fashioned cherry candy? From This Is The Place Monument? Or is it from the Pioneer Mercantile at Deseret Book? Who do I know in Salt Lake City?

What is this?Jurassic DNA pop rocks candy that swears to "mutate in your mouth?" Who do I know from Vernal? or is it from the dinosaur park in Odgen? Whatever it is, The Love Magnet wants it. I told her I would share. Maybe.

What else is in this box?

A tiny mouse? How did he get in there? Is it a church mouse? A field mouse?

A postcard of Utah listing a lot of fun places like Big Rock Candy Mountain, Timpanogos Cave, Rainbow Bridge, and national parks. Some places I've been to and some I haven't.

Oh! It's my Pay It Forward package from Sooz, the Laundry Faerie! She knew that I was missing my home state. This was so much fun to open. Thanks, Sooz! Um, what does the little mouse have to do with Utah? You have me stumped there. :)

Now it is your turn to play

Pay It Forward

the first three people to leave me a comment will be my "Pay It Forward" recipients.

You must have a blog so I can read your postings and learn a little bit about you. That way I will know what to send just for you! Then, when you receive your package from me, you post pictures of what you received, just as I have done, and wait for three comments on your blog...and the game continues on.

If there are any questions you can ask me any time. This is a lot of fun. Let's see how far this pay it forward will go!

Summer Art Show

With the rose garden as a backdrop of inspiration

And the only art critic who has only praise

The artist gathers her favorite medium.

Delicate hues of blue and pink

The evidence of smudged artist hands (and feet)

and chalk-smudged nose and chin

She prepares her show for the opening hour (when Daddy comes home)

Last night

Late night conversations that are actually not just inside my head:

"Good evening, Carrie."

"Good morning, Mom." (Mom is in Uganda and there is a nine (?) hour difference. We Skype each other when one day is starting while another is ending.)

After the usually how-are-yous, I'm-fines, let-the-kids-talk (even though they should have been in bed hours ago but won't because "it isn't dark yet, mom"), get-the-kids-back-in-bed.....we finally get down to brass tacks:

"Mom, were you worried about passing your nursing exam?" I needed mom-wisdom and mom-understanding. Even though my Praxis exam is still a good three years away, my GRE is looming. I worry that I will make it all through this educating and not pass that all-important exam I need to become a 'MS, SLP-CCC' and whatever other alphabet soup I want after my name. I always wanted an alphabet soup after my name.

Mom told me about being a nervous wreck for the entire two day exam, thinking she had failed the psychology part, relieved that she had studied diabetes when she found there were many questions pertaining, and worried that she didn't know enough about nerves. After all was said and done, she passed her nursing exam (her best score being the psychology section) and became an RN.

Out came the pompoms, and the "you're smart enough", and all the things good to hear from your mom. I needed it.

God bless whomever invented Skype. It allows me to see and hear my mom in Uganda. Incredible, blessed invention.

Nix the fireworks. Please.

The Love Magnet hates fireworks.

Every year it's the same thing. She doesn't like the lights, the noise, the smoke. She begs to be taken home. She alternates between my arms and Mr. Wonderful, not able to decide which place is safer.

I thought a week's worth of fireworks at Disneyland would get her used to it. It only made it worse. Bad enough, that I was not looking forward to July.

Tonight she worried and fretted. She put her hands over her ears. She put my hands over her ears. She tried every room in our house to see if one would shield her from the noise of fireworks. She wouldn't listen to her brothers when they told her that everything was okay and, look, they weren't scared.

Finally I took her to her room and cuddled on the bed with her. I laid her head against my arm to shield one ear while I covered her other ear with my free hand. Then I sang every lullaby, every Primary song, and added a few musicals in order to drown out the sound of the explosions. It was working fairly well........until a neighbor behind our house started lighting fireworks that would be illegal in any suburbia. The Love Magnet's room lit up as if the sun were at high noon. My daughter kept yelling "I scared Mom! I hate fireworks!" No matter how much I soothed her, she wouldn't be consoled.

Finally we went downstairs to the monster TV. I turned on The Wizard Of Oz fairly loud for our house (especially for 10:30 at night) an hoped that the scenes and the soundtrack would drown out the celebration outside. We wrestled. At least I was able to keep her on the couch. Thirdborn, bless his sweet heart, sat next to us and tried to console her.

It's now 11:38. The Love Magnet finally fell asleep out of sheer exhaustion. Bad backyard neighbor is still setting off fireworks. I have a few bruises from where my daughter elbowed me as she tried to jump up when every pop and boom was heard. She is still mumbling in her sleep when a particularly big one explodes outside the window. At least she isn't reacting to all the firecrackers anymore.

Happy Independence Day. I'll celebrate in my heart, but fireworks just don't make the holiday for me anymore.

Sunday Gratitudes

Just listening to Macy Gray singing Beauty In the World makes me smile and dance. Gotta love music that lifts your spirits. Much gratitude and God bless Macy Gray for singing a great song.

Just read the latest post on my parents blog. Every time I do, I am grateful for good roads, clean water, schools for my children, healthy food on my table, a job to support us, good hospitals, and a safe place to live.

This past week I signed up for a GRE prep class. I'm grateful to Mr. Wonderful for telling me to do whatever I needed to prepare. I feel that this will definitely help.

Mr. Wonderful was gone for most of the week on a business trip. We missed him immensely. I am grateful that he is finally home.

Thirdborn woke up this morning will an incredible story. It involved a dream of him starting his own amusement park and building fantastical rides that no one has ever seen before: a ride that really goes to the center of the earth, a ride that orbits the earth and makes a pit stop at a space hotel for those guests who really want an out-of-this-word experience, rollercoasters built on invisible struts and so smooth that you feel like you are flying, and boats and planes designed specifically for elementary kids to use. He has spent hours telling us all about it. I am grateful for this kid's imagination.

Sunday Gratitudes

Today I subbed as Primary Chorister at church. I had forgotten how much I enjoy being with the kids and teaching music. We worked on learning basic signs and words for a song called The Holy Ghost. It's a sweet song with basic instruction of who the Holy Ghost is and what he does for us.

The kids were - for the most part - attentive. They learned my Primary rule "We don't say "NOOOOO" in Primary!" They also learned that I will stare them down if I see them not singing, or not opening their mouths, or turned wrong way in their seats. One arch of my eyebrow and feet are taken off chairs and put on the floor. One tilt of my head and chairs are righted from their tilted position. Oh the power! BWAHAHAHAHA!

Truly, I had a great time and I hope the kids did, too.

We have 200+(?) kids in Primary. Actually I don't have a good count. Let's say that we have so many kids that the Primary Presidency is switching to three Singing/Sharing Times. They will utilize an overflow area of the chapel for Sharing Time, the Primary room for Singing Time, and classroom times will be cut down to 30 minutes. You have to get creative when you live in a ward that took the command to multiply and replenish the earth very seriously.

The best part is that I was asked to sub as chorister next week, too. Here is my gratitude for letting me have fun in Primary. There is nothing better than teaching kids all about music. Primary Chorister is the best calling in the church.

I am also grateful for my ward choir singing today. They sang This Is The Christ. Click on the title to hear Mo-Tab sing it their version of the piece. Ours was similar in feeling and sound, just a slight difference in the same arrangement. My choir sounded beautiful. Their singing strengthened my testimony.

On a side note (no pun intended, ha!) Mo-Tab has auditions coming up. I am eating my heart out - I want so badly to audition! But, I don't live in Utah anymore. One of these days. It's still the #1 on my Bucket List.

Goodbye Happiest Place On Earth

Goodbye Donald. You're a cool duck, but you're not her favorite.

Goodbye beach. We had great fun boogie boarding and building sandcastles with Grandma.

Goodbye Toon Town. We wanted to take one of your cars home.

Goodbye rides. We were so glad that everyone was tall enough this year to ride.

Goodbye Goofy. You were awesome. But you weren't The Love Magnet's favorite, either.

Goodbye Roger Rabbit ride. We would have loved you if you hadn't broken down right when it was our turn. We had to make do with props.

Goodbye Train around Disneyland. You made it easy to get around.

Goodbye Handy Manny. YOU were The Love Magnet's FAVORITE. She followed you around the park until you stopped for pictures. When she told you she loved you, you KISSED HER HAND. My daughter talked about it for the rest of the day and all the next during the plane ride home. You made her summer, Mr. Manny.

Thanks, Grandma and Grandpa. We had so much fun with you.

Sunday Gratitudes for my Daddy

I'm grateful that my daddy sat me down for a father's interview one day and told me he liked Mr. Wonderful and thought I should marry him. At the time it made me laugh. I thought Daddy liked Mr. Wonderful because he didn't have long hair or an earring or a band or was in theater. I didn't take the advice seriously. But (obviously) Daddy knew what he was talking about. Mr. Wonderful is indeed wonderful.

I'm grateful that Daddy sang with his kids from the start. Between Daddy singing bass and Mom singing alto, I learned to harmonize by the time I was 10 years old. Daddy played guitar and had us sing at every ward talent show. Now with 7 kids, spouses, and grandkids, you should hear us harmonize when we get together.

I'm grateful that Daddy paid for 8 years of piano lessons. I hope he thinks they were worth every penny. I sure do.

I'm grateful for all the priesthood blessings before school started, the blessing he gave when I had an eye infection and lost most of my vision (most of it came back), the blessings when I was sick/sad/nervous-about-something.

I'm grateful that my daddy taught me to swing dance. And for all those daddy-daughter dances he attended in my pre-teen years. I'm sure it wasn't the most entertaining time for him but he made my twin sis and me feel special. I used to love those date pictures taken at the activities.

I'm grateful for the times he has taken each of my kids out by themselves when they visit. Thirdborn still talks about the last movie they went to together. I know that movies about hamsters (chipmunks? rodents?) can't be high on Daddy's t0-see list (they certainly don't compare to James Bond movies).

I'm grateful for all the vacations to Sun Valley, ward camp out, Denver, Nauvoo, Disney World, and Georgia (driving to Georgia used to take us more than two days). One time, Mom asked me to stay up with Daddy to keep him awake as we drove through the night on our way to Georgia. I think I was 12. The moon was full and red that night. We talked for hours. I have no memory about what we said to each other. I just remember it as being one of my favorite parts of the trip.

Happy Father's Day, Daddy. I'll try to Skype you tomorrow so I can sing to you.

Happiest Place On Earth

Meeting Minnie (and making your older brothers stand in the picture with you):

priceless.

(The Love Magnet will be talking about this for months)

Spending time with your dad:

priceless.

(very deep conversations about mathematics, physics, and stuff I can't follow)

Hanging out with your grandma, constantly saying "Watch this! Watch this!:

I don't think there is enough money in the world for this woman's patience.

Spending time in what is billed as "The Happiest Place On Earth":
Priceless. But only too a point. After a while, all The Love Magnet wants is to go back to the hotel and swim in the pool.

Multiple people to keep an eye on The Love Magnet:

PRICELESS!

(and thanks to the new leash - which she can not stand - there have been no escapes)

Sunday Gratitudes

Today in Sunday School we were studying the story of Samuel and Eli, particularly the part where Eli doesn't really make an effort when he disciplines them. The result is that they are destroyed and the Ark of the Covenant is taken. The story started a conversation about how we should not be our children's 'buddy' but really act as our children's parents and use that role to teach and instruct. Other adults were commenting about their children and how hard it is sometimes to be the parent. Huge gratitude to those parents for sharing their stories about the difficulties we face in parenting and disciplining our children. I don't feel like the mean mom, now. I'm not the only parent who insists their their kids learn how to work and do the job right the first time. Nor am I the only parent who gets the eye roll, the emphysemic sigh (I laughed hard at that description - it perfectly describes one of my children), the hunched shoulders, or the "it's not fair!" soliloquy.

I'm grateful for our upcoming vacay with Mr. Wonderful's parents. The kids are really looking forward to spending some time with their grandparents. They are good people. I love, love, LOVE my in-loves.

The Love Magnet took off again today. The front door was locked, as was the backyard gate. She went through the garage door (I didn't hear it with the dishwasher running). My next door neighbor saw my daughter chasing after my dog down the street. Neighbor tried to get her to stop, but The Love Magnet ran faster when she realized she was being chased. Neighbor caught her far down the next street and brought her back. I found out when Neighbor's firstborn knocked on my door to tell me his mother was chasing after my daughter. I'm grateful for my neighbor for bringing my daughter back. I've asked Mr. Wonderful to install alarms to tell me when any door to the outside or garage is open. I also bought a child leash. I hope that teaches her to not run.

I did a record amount of laundry this week. I'm grateful for the smell of clean laundry. I will be more grateful when all of my boys know how to do their own laundry.

My garden is starting to do better now that it isn't raining so much. The corn and peas look happy. The tomatoes look almost dead. Pumpkins and watermelon are finally starting to improve. The herbs are straggly. The strawberries are starting to bear fruit. I'm grateful that I'll be able to provide fresh, organic food for my family. I'm still learning. I wish I had inherited a little bit of gardening talent from my grandma.

Random

I feel like the general marshaling apathetic troops. Please tell me this is not a precursor to the entire summer.


Trying to study for the GRE during my summer vacay. Wondering if I should take a GRE prep course or just stick with my GRE prep manual (said manual will be taken on all vacays, too).

As The Love Magnet's desire for independence grows, so does her impulsiveness. Escapes are more frequent as is hiding from her mom. Seriously looking into GPS bracelets.

Thirdborn no longer likes his silver eyelashes (silver due to, we think, the loss of pigment in his skin). We've always told him it is because he has stars in his eyes. No longer a cool thing to say.

Iron Man 2 makes for a good dinner-and-a-movie date. Loved it with Kalua Pork. Bet you didnt' know that Robert Downey Jr. and Hawaiian food made for a good combination. Now you know.

Like packages and fun things in the mail?

Want to play "Pay It Forward"? Go see The Laundry Faerie for details.

What We're Doing During Summer

Going to a preserve to see these.

Planning a vacation here.

Reading this in 90 days and discussing it at

Family Home Evening.

Printing off chore charts from Free Printable Behavior Charts.

Tracking the Flat Love Magnet on this.

Studying this and combine our findings in a science journal.

Cooking Lessons

Swimming lessons and swim meets

Hiking

Scout Camps

What are your plans this summer?

First Grade Graduation

Today was the First Grade Graduation Luau for The Love Magnet. The luau was held at Teacher's house. We filled cute little buckets with red, white, and blue Jelly Bellys and a GC to her favorite coffeehouse. I made a fruit salad. We chose to walk to Teacher's House.

The Love Magnet immediately got down to business at the luau. She had some serious talks with her friends (along the line of "I come to your house tomorrow, okay?")

She played on the backyard playground, insisting that I stand back and let her do it all herself. I had no intention of helping her. I was just trying to record the moment.
Mr. Wonderful tried to get her to conquer the monkey bars. She had been talking about it all afternoon, insisting that it was okay for Daddy to help her. But when the time came, she lost all courage. Nothing her daddy could say would change her mind.

Firstborn and Secondborn were good sports. There wasn't anyone their age to play with. They did bring a football, and spent quite a bit of time smacking each other. Thirdborn was moving so fast that the camera didn't capture him.

She ate a good dinner. Well, she ate potato salad. She didn't care for the hot dog. Mr. Wonderful thought it was sacrilege that a luau had hot dogs and not Kahlua pork.

Then it was time to put on graduation hats and have the ceremony. The Love Magnet's hat was too big. It didn't stop her from wearing it.

Graduation included an award. The Love Magnet was given the Sunshine Award for bringing sunshine into the class room. Then she took a bow and Teacher popped a balloon filled with glitter over her head. TLM is now officially a second grader.

Her first act as a second grader? She came to her mom, dumped her diploma and hat, leaned over, and proceeded to shake all the glitter off her head and onto her mom. She didn't want glitter in her hair anymore.

Sunday Gratitudes

I know. It's been ages since I posted any gratitudes. I have felt the lack on a daily basis. I have no other excuse (and truly, excuses are lame) of being too busy, too bleh, too.....yeah. Lame.

Today I am grateful for the people who caught my daughter in the church parking lot. The Love Magnet ran away from me as church let out. The halls were crowded and she could easily slip past packed bodies where I could not. My profuse apologies to those people whom I shouldered out of the way as I tried to follow her down the hallway and out the door. I gave up running long enough to drop my scripture bag, the Sunday quiet bag, and my purse, kick off my sandals, and book it after her. she made it through two rows of the parking lot without looking both ways and (thank heavens) without getting hit by ward members leaving the their vehicles. When TLM got to the third row, another mother, hearing my yelling, turned around just in time to grab her. I finally caught up to them and swept her up in my arms. As soon as she saw my eyes, The Love Magnet knew that what she did was wrong. I haven't been that scared, ever.

I'm grateful for my Relief Society President for gathering up my bags and shoes and bringing them to me. When she asked me where I was parked, I couldn't tell her. My mind wouldn't work, numb from watching my daughter run. Thank goodness, Secondborn remembered where we parked. R.S. President talked calmly (which helped me immensely to calm down, too) and made sure everything and everyone got into the car before she left. I had enough presence of mind to be embarrassed about the state of my car (sheet music and kids homework everywhere).

I'm grateful that I didn't cry. I know, odd duck. But I cry at everything. I'm been praying for awhile to get a grip on this. For once I didn't get teary during or after an event like this. I consider is a sort of triumph. Or maybe I was just too scared.

I'm grateful that Firstborn made Acapella Choir (the top choir at school.) Yeah, proud mama here.

I'm grateful that The Love Magnet and I are finally over the nasty spring cold going around. Unfortunately, Mr. Wonderful and Secondborn picked it up. I hope Firstborn and Thirdborn avoid it.

I'm grateful that we were able to host family for Memorial Day weekend. My aunt and uncle, another aunt and uncle who live in Oregon, my cousin and his family all came for good food and good conversation. I've missed having extended family around.

I'm excited for our summer plans. Some of that I will blog about tomorrow. Should make things exciting and educational.

Off to research child harnesses for future family vacays (to prevent wandering).