I am not ready for this stage...

Parenting a young adult will about kill me.

Yeah, I know. Carrie, you always talk about not having a bad attitude...well blah, blah, blah. Sorry, I should not be directing frustrations at you.

I have a Firstborn/highschool graduate/young adult (now referred to as YA) who hasn't quite figured the important things in life. Like letting your parents know when you will be home, or at least coming home before or at your curfew. He thinks that now he is a YA, he shouldn't have a curfew. Too bad, so sad, my house my rules. And, yes, consequences are fair.

Nor does he think that helping out at home is nearly important as helping the cute neighbor two doors down. Yesterday, he needed to be home, preparing to leave for a competition today. I called him three times to get home and get his stuff done. Nope. He felt it was more important to help the neighbors and then go out to dinner with them. This anywhere-but-home attitude has been a recurring theme, happening daily.

To top it off, he missed his ride to the airport this morning and fully expected Mr. Wonderful to come save him........and he didn't know the time the plane left nor the airline he was flying on. We assume he made it to California because he hasn't called since he left the airport. In the meantime, he apparently expects me to finish his laundry, wash his sheets, make his bed since he left it sitting in the laundry (except for what he dumped in the hall just outside his bedroom door) and knowing that I am trying to get ready for guests tomorrow.

He gave us no itinerary because apparently YA's don't need one. At least their parents don't need to know about it.

How you get through to a YA that there are still certain rules and courtesies that must be adhered to? That family members deserve love and respect as much as friends do? That being part of a family means working together, helping out, and making an effort to get along? That family comes first? Sitting him down and trying to explain only fell on deaf ears.

I always thought the hard challenges in my life would circulate between The Love Magnet's Down syndrome, Thirdborn's learning disabilities, and stress such as the current typical balance-school-and-mommyhood. But at this time the hardest challenge of my life is navigating the uncharted waters of Firstborn's YA-hood. Nothing I say or think or do carries any significance.

Praying for help/knowledge/wisdom/patience/sanity is my only recourse.

Father's Day 2011

The Father of my home

leads my family

with wisdom's light in all that's right;

my father's good to me.

Father's are so special

with a very special love.

They watch us and protect us,

guide us and direct us

back to our home above.

Today I led 175+ Primary kids in singing the song above. As a surprise, each child brought a 5x7 or 8x10 picture of their dad which they proudly held as high as they could. I was overwhelmed with tears as I tried to direct these sweet kids who were grinning from ear to ear at their own dads.

I held my own picture, too. Maybe that is why the tears came so readily. I miss my daddy, I miss being able to sing to him the same primary song I've sung to him for years (even though it might be silly for a 42 yr old daughter to sing that. It probably drives him nuts, but he only has to put up with it once a year.) I am so incredibly proud of him for the hard work he's put into his mission. A lot of good work is being done in Uganda.

Then there is the father of my four children. The man who teaches my kids how to build things, how to problem-solve, math tutor (mine, too!). He shows by example the proper way to treat women, especially moms and wives. He insists that his children learn how to work hard and how to keep their word. He goes to games, concerts, doctor appointments, scout pack meetings, IEP meetings, and parent-teacher conferences. He plans fishing trips, camping trips, skiing trips, hiking trips, and rafting trips. He arranges basketball in the front yard and volleyball in the backyard. He reads them books at night, listens to prayers, and tucks them in bed. He is MegaDad and heavily involved in his children's lives. They have no question of his love for them.

Huge thanks and much love for the dads in my life. Happy Father's Day!

Class of 2011

Lots of cheering and a bit of shock that my Firstborn has graduated

And really hoping that he keeps in touch with friends



But the proudest moment. Listening to the seniors of the Acapella choir sing The Star Spangled Banner. My boy can sing. I could pick out his voice anywhere.