Friday, May 06, 2011

Advocacy never ending

Mr. Wonderful gave me a certificate for a spa day last Christmas. Today was the day (I finally have time now that finals are over) and I was really looking forward to some pampering. The spa I went to was voted the best spa in the Boise area. It was beautiful. Incredibly busy (not very quiet) but I expected that since I booked a day the weekend of Mother's Day. That was okay. It was going to be divine.

The manicurist was great. She helped me pick a color (OPI 'I'm not Really A Waitress') and assured me that I could carry off that color on my short nails. Made me think of Dandelion Mama's post about her short nails. We talked about her kids, my kids, cupcakes (she is tweaking recipes to start a side business in gourmet cupcakes) and how to take better care of my dry hands. She told me how great the massage therapist was that I was scheduled to see next (and she was oh-so-right). The conversation was pleasant at my table. Then, during a pause, my ear started tuning into the conversation at the next table.

"She really started making bad choices", the nail tech at the next table was talking about her sister to her client. "I swear she smoked herself retarded." Both started laughing.

I froze.

Normally, I would speak right up to the person who uttered the 'R' word. But I didn't say anything this time. I did not think it was appropriate in this setting. Instead I made a note to email the spa tonight and let them know that while I appreciated their excellent services, there was one thing in which they could improve. That choice of vocabulary is unacceptable.

I know I've said it before (and that I am preaching to the choir). The word "Retarded" is not interchangeable with 'stupid'. Using that word in that context is hurtful and demeaning.

As much as I enjoyed the spa, the memory that will probably last the longest is the choice of words of the nail tech. I wonder if my email will make any difference.


Soozcat said...

Even if it makes no difference to the individual, it's always worth it to speak up in defense of what's right.

I'm glad you had a good time at the spa otherwise.

Anna said...

You speaking up has helped me be more aware. I think you made the right choice -- to not make a scene at the time but to make your feelings known to the business later.

Glad your husband spoiled you with a spa day and that it was enjoyable otherwise.

Tara said...

It will make a difference, if even just to get someone to think before they speak! Good for you!