Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Searching for confidence

Day two of Spring Semester. Tons of reading. A new laptop to load up with all the required software. (I love my laptop and tell Mr. Wonderful how grateful I am every single day for it.) Starting study for the GRE. Talking to grad school students. Trying to decide where to go to grad school.

Mr. Wonderful is encouraging me to check out other schools besides my current one. Staying here would be much cheaper. I really want to focus on Language Development in People with Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities (such as Down syndrome). Still trying to decide who would have the best program and if I would qualify to go. I am looking at University of Washington (ranked #5 in SLP programs according to US News and World Report), University of Iowa (ranked #1), Vanderbilt (also #5), Florida State (#15), University of Georgia (#46), University of Virginia (#53), and University of Utah also (#46).

Will it be worth uprooting the family again (and possibly leaving Firstborn behind as he starts college)? Mr. Wonderful wants to continue his education, too - will it postpone that further? What about having to pay nonresidential fees? Can I qualify for any aid or scholarships? What will I do with The Love Magnet when I have to do summer semesters?! Can she attend some kind of summer school or daycare on campus?

Then there is the slight nagging in the back of my head: you're not smart enough, it's too hard, change to something easier. I am pushing those thoughts down and obliterating that voice the best I can. I know I can accomplish this (although never in my life did I think I would do something in the health field and earn a masters degree).

I told one of the grad students today that the most frustrating thing about all this is that I don't know what kind of questions to ask. It's all a bit overwhelming. I plan on taking the GRE this summer at least twice. I don't apply for grad school until next fall. I am somewhat successfully juggling being a mom and student right now.........at least I hope I am.

Did I mention how this journey is taking me out of my comfort zone on a daily basis? That is a good thing........right?

I still need to plan my 14 Days of Valentines. I forgot to write my Sunday Gratitudes this week. I have piles of laundry to fold.

I think I had better start with a list of gratitudes. Sunday Gratitudes on a Thursday. Be back tomorrow with that.

4 comments:

My name is Sarah said...

This is Joyce. How very exciting this all is. I know you can do whatever you wish for. I will be anxious to hear how this all plays out for you.

Kristin said...

LOVE the 14 days of Valentines!!!!! I actually had a little tear reading the things you've done for your hubby. I sooooo need to do this. I am terrible at doing this sort of thing on a regular basis!

Al, Wendy, Max, and Lil said...

Carrie, it is inspiring to read about your doubts and fears going to school. I need to do this someday and I am dreading those feelings! You are an inspiration. Keep it up!

Anna said...

Can't believe you are approaching the end of your undergrad! Congrats.

About the GRE. I took it twice. They have a rule that you can only take it once per calendar month---which can get tricky if you take it too close to deadlines. I'm happy to help you cram for the math section sometime when you're in town.

You can do it!