Have you ever been offended? Really, really offended? Hurt? Feel a bit bitter about it all?
This rarely happens to me. Most the time I have no idea that someone offended me until they come to apologize and I just blink at them wondering what on earth they are talking about. No harm, no foul. No worries.
But once in a blue moon something happens (like this last week) where someone does offend me. This one happened anonymously. I won't say what it was other than that being anonymous must make them braver. (Please, next time you have a problem with me, come and tell me. I won't get offended. I won't yell or scream. We'll have a great conversation over herbal tea and a sweet. You might even like me, after all.)
In the mean time, you've read my Gratitudes where I learned to Be A Duck. Just let it roll off my back. The thought makes me grin and want to quack. (I know a bit corny, but right now, whatever helps me to lighten up is a good thing.)
Another piece of great advice came from someone whom I unknowingly offended (who held the grudge for two years and then used the situation as an example for a Sunday School lesson. It was the first time I had ever heard about the problem - had I known sooner, I would have apologized profusely. Instead I got to hear the story unfold along with the rest of my ward. They were staring at me out of pity along with some trying to hide smiles, knowing - hoping?- that I would laugh at this later. I had more than a few people come up to me afterwards to ask if I was offended that he publicly humiliated me like that. Oh, good grief. I wish I knew about Be A Duck back then). His words of wisdom that day were a mantra: God loves them, too. That is how he said he finally got over it, by realizing that God loved me, too, no matter how many faults I had. Turn about being fair play, I repeated that mantra about him. It worked. I got over it.
I've been thinking a lot about this today. There has got to be more wisdom like this out there.
If you have it, let me know. I'll start a collection.
Quack
2 comments:
Oh how I wish I could be a duck, sadly it is not something that comes naturally to me, I have to really work at it. I also have to remind myself that when someone hurts me, they also are a beloved child of God...again, not easy but when you keep those thoughts it helps :)
I once heard someone on an interview that had a hard childhood say this about her mother (I am blessed with a wonderful mother but have used it in other relationships) "I blame her for nothing, and I forgive her for everything." She blamed her for nothing because she realized she was actually just doing all she knew, because of things that had happened in her life. Doesn't mean it's right, but sometimes it's all a person knows........ Sorry this got so long!!!!!
Carrie - I can't imagine you offending anyone!
Quack-Quack
aimster
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