Thursday, March 20, 2008

Strong Hearts

Every night I kneel down with DD to hear her say her prayers. She likes to say her prayers by herself. She goes through all the standards:

"Please bless GamaPapa Africa.
Please bless our home to sell quickly.
Please bless Prophet President Hinkley" (Still is insisting on him and is reminded every night of President Monson)

Then comes a part she confuses every time. For 5 years now I have tried to teach her to ask for blessings for her heart. For some reason she insists on saying it this way:

"Please bless Mama's heart to be strong."

Lately I have begun to wonder at the wisdom of my only daughter. She has shown time and again that she is an old soul captured in a young body. Does she truly mean to bless my heart? I will admit that lately my heart has been heavy. While I am becoming used to the idea of open heart surgery for my daughter, I am anxious for purely selfish reasons - I don't want her to leave me. I fear my heart would break.

Now I truly believe that this surgery will be successful and that DD will come out of it just fine. I'm trying to look on this as another part of my life meant to test, teach, and strengthen my faith. I trust God's plan, that it is perfect. I trust her cardiologist. I guess I just don't trust my own strength yet.

So now I am echoing my daughter's prayer. Please bless Mama's heart to be strong. Please help her to be strong for her family. Please bless her mind with peace.

DD's open-heart surgery has been scheduled for May 1st. The countdown begins.

3 comments:

Farrell and Marilyn Barlow said...

Have I told you lately that I love you. Your heart is very big and it always has been. You will be bless with all you need to care for DD. Our prayers are being answered on a daily basis and this one will be answered also.
Much, Much love

Soozcat said...

It's only her physical heart that has issues, Carrie. The heart that she loves with is plenty strong.

mum2brady said...

Carrie - how that pulls at MY heart! I believe your DD does know what she is praying for :) I think that sometimes as moms, we really do need strong hearts, as parenting isn't always easy. It's especially hard to watch our children go through difficult experiences and suffer pain and the uncertainty that comes with those experiences.

I truly believe and have faith that dd will come through this beautifully and her heart will be fixed up and she'll be done with heart stuff from now on. She is such a strong, healthy, amazing little girl!

We're here for you and we love you and will be keeping your cute girl in our prayers!

Hugs!