Every night I kneel down with DD to hear her say her prayers. She likes to say her prayers by herself. She goes through all the standards:
"Please bless GamaPapa Africa.
Please bless our home to sell quickly.
Please bless Prophet President Hinkley" (Still is insisting on him and is reminded every night of President Monson)
Then comes a part she confuses every time. For 5 years now I have tried to teach her to ask for blessings for her heart. For some reason she insists on saying it this way:
"Please bless Mama's heart to be strong."
Lately I have begun to wonder at the wisdom of my only daughter. She has shown time and again that she is an old soul captured in a young body. Does she truly mean to bless my heart? I will admit that lately my heart has been heavy. While I am becoming used to the idea of open heart surgery for my daughter, I am anxious for purely selfish reasons - I don't want her to leave me. I fear my heart would break.
Now I truly believe that this surgery will be successful and that DD will come out of it just fine. I'm trying to look on this as another part of my life meant to test, teach, and strengthen my faith. I trust God's plan, that it is perfect. I trust her cardiologist. I guess I just don't trust my own strength yet.
So now I am echoing my daughter's prayer. Please bless Mama's heart to be strong. Please help her to be strong for her family. Please bless her mind with peace.
DD's open-heart surgery has been scheduled for May 1st. The countdown begins.