Saturday, August 02, 2008

For the love of Marriage, go kiss your spouse. Right now....

Last night we heard the news that one of our high school friends has told her husband of more than 17 years that she hasn't loved him for the past 10 years, left her husband and her children, and is shacking up with another guy. Now I know this is third hand information and therefore not reliable. But it did make me think.

Mr. Wonderful and I cuddled on our giant Love Sac and talked about it. Whether true or not, the news shocking and something that we can not wrap our brains around. How can a mom just leave her husband and kids? How could she not fight tooth and nail, do everything in her power to make things work and fix a marriage if it is broken? Assuming there was no abuse, did they try counseling? Did she worry about how her kids would take her absence? Was she in her right mind?

We talked about our marriage and how we work on our marriage on a daily basis: constantly expressing our love for each other verbally and through action. We're not shy about kissing in front of our kids.. They are so used to it that many times, Thirdborn or The Love Magnet will remind Mr. Wonderful to kiss me before he goes to work and when he comes home. The only one who seems bothered by this is Firstborn (we love to embarrass him on a daily basis). The other children cheer and clap and yell "Mom loves Dad! Dad loves Mom!"

We have a date every week, whether it is going our or staying in. I keep smoked salmon, chevre, crackers, and nonalcoholic bubbly stocked at all times for those nights we stay in (usually because of a lack of a sitter) and watch a movie. We've gone on drives, checked out local parks, and attended festivals. Sometimes we'll invite another couple, but most of the time its just the two of us. We plan one weekend away for just the two of us every year.

Twenty years ago, when it was just Twin Sis and me, I would have told you that there was no way anyone else could be my best friend. In my mind, our husbands would not be someone to whom I could pour out my heart as I did with my sister. That assumption started to change when she married Dr. Teeth (The Love Magnet can't pronounce his name and calls him Teeth. It fits very well for a dentist). Two years later, I married Mr. Wonderful. I finally got it. Twin sis is still my best friend but Mr. Wonderful is my Best Friend Of The Highest Order. I can tell him everything (and I do, poor man, he claims I do not talk his ear off. He never had sisters so he had no idea what he was getting into.) He always puts my needs before his. I love to make him happy.

Go hug your spouse and say " I love you." I don't care if you told him/her just two minutes ago. Go and do it again. Give 'em a big kiss while you're at it. Right in front of your kids. There isn't enough love in this world. Go on, go do it.....

6 comments:

Angela said...

John and I always talk about how lucky we are that we love each other so much and how sad it makes us when we see couples who don't. I can't imagine. I'm just always amazed that our entire family is the same way. I guess you kids had a good example :). I'll kiss John just as soon as he gets home from his hike. You tell Scott I said someday he'll be excited to see his parents are in love - it's better than them not. Trust me. I've seen my parents have problems but that' so ver now and I just saw them dancing and kissing at a wedding a couple of weeks ago and I took a photo so I could always remember :)

Anna said...

I couldn't agree more. I kiss Joe all the time and plan on fully kissing him regularly in front of our kids -- it's good for them.

CandyandLadybugs said...

I have a good friend who just did that. I counseled her for quite a while to give her husband another chance, to go to counseling, etc. She didn't want him to change for her. So she blindsided him instead. That is how he felt anyway.

I try to make sure Joe and I keep our relationship strong. We just went away for the weekend, read my blog, and it was wonderful!

PS, never put your boxing gloves away!

Kimberly said...

I am getting up right now. Who couldn't use a little afternoon smooch?

Soozcat said...

Off to give CM muchas smoochas! (He will probably protest as he has a bad cold, but he'll have to endure gettin' smooched anyway. Such is life with a piratey wife.)

chronicler said...

Good Post! I'm missing my best friend right now. I hope to go home soon.